I Think It’s Tuesday #PoiMe

Pointless meandering

Warning: this is not gonna be one of those smell the flowers in the pandemic posts, but there are plenty of those around, so if you would rather read something cheery, move along now.

I’ve been doing my side work from home as usual but not my main work. It would be complicated to set up. The days blend in a haze of sleeping late, sweatpants, coffee, news, news, and more news. 😢

It’s depressing to live this way and never see any of my favorite humans. I don’t know when I’ll be able to visit my daughter up North again. Or even see my family in Los Angeles. Everything seems terrifying. But I’ve been staying indoors mostly and not even going for walks. I don’t like getting the mail because I never know if someone will stand too close. Today was okay. No one was at the mailboxes when I was.

The worst thing is reading these constant bits of news and feeling more horrified. But I need to know what’s happening! I live near a busy street and traffic never stops whooshing by… where are they all going? Why aren’t they staying home like they’re supposed to? Aren’t they hearing the same stuff I am? 😡

I’ve been cleaning a lot. I have nothing else to do but keep checking the mishmash of news. I read a book. Probably will read another. Been chatting with friends. I was gonna bake banana bread, but no one else is around to help me eat it, so I didn’t. No need to turn into a chubby hermit. Got bored with the phone games. I’m finally working on Ghosted. 👻 Luckily, I really like it.

I am grumpy and sad. I don’t find the beauty in this. Maybe if I had a partner? Then we could be having luscious sex and engaging in wonderful deep conversations and playing chess and watching lovely old movies and making lasagna and planning our escape from this mad mad world, but instead I just keep checking the cat boxes to make sure no poop needs to be removed.

It’s not that I mind being alone. I like to be alone. It’s the forced aspect of it. And it’s the constant uncertainty in every direction. Health, family, finances, job, future. What’s going to happen? Even if things tentatively begin to improve, will we be re-whomped with this, or a new version, next winter?

Sorry, I can’t put up some Hallmark card type of post. This really sucks. 🙁

~*~

Image originally from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

30 responses to “I Think It’s Tuesday #PoiMe

  1. This is more realistic.
    But couples in quarantine are crossing the love hate line faster lol.

    Being an introvert I’m still okay and pretty normal but forced aspect of isolation isn’t fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Everytime I want to do a post like this my hubby complains lol. I was looking forward to a lot of outings too and have to postpone them ugh!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It is really tough if one is alone. Keeping busy can help. Like play card games, puzzles or color.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey, Paula. I haz the same feelz, for what it’s worth. I’m starting a countdown: we have been ordered to stay at home until April 24 at 8:00 am. I wonder if that will be a sunny day??

    I have been lurking, reading, laughing, and being motivated by your posts, even when I don’t have anything to say back to you, so thank you for keeping the porch light on, as it were.

    Maybe something good will come of all this, but no need to be a Pollyanna. Keep it real.

    Still miss you on facebook, Barbara Hughes a.k.a Carby Barbie

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Nothing one can do about loved ones. Stay in touch and hope for the best. As for the rest of it, I think I’m handling being at home because a) I’m actually working, and b) I get good info from a government I trust. That last is key. A lack of leadership and clarity makes this weird “I can’t believe this is happening” situation we’re all in that much harder. Hang in there! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m reminded of a book i got when dad died in Dec. “Its ok to not be ok.”
    Be honest and true to yourself. Here’s a hug.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Where is roommate? They should take a turn with fur-kids so you can go north for a visit. Meanwhile, feel your feels! We lurve you giggly or grumpy!😻

    Liked by 1 person

    • Before all this began, she went on a trip. Not sure of the logistics of getting back. My daughter doesn’t want me to drive North (I don’t really want to either), and flying is out for now. It’s depressing not to know when I can see her…

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Love your honesty, Paula! Like you, I enjoy alone time, but imposed isolation is a new experience that I’m trying to adjust to, like many others. The grass is not greener … being sequestered with a partner has its own drawbacks!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I will share the banana bread with you Paula! Yeah, isolation sucks. I am not alone, but our relationship is drastucally strained to breaking point. It is a wonder there has not been a murder lol. We never did have a brilliant relationship but being pushed together nit even able to go out for a drive in the car is shit. But I understand about being alone as well. Both have their problems. This whole situation is pure shit. No wonder we need all the damned toilet rolls! Sorry you cannotbget to seebyour daughter. That stinks too. Just can’t wait for this whole thing to be over but they don’t give much hope of that. Ugh!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Lots of truth within your post – health crisis – going it alone – near forced to stay indoors – the unknown – scary. A nightmare! Stay safe my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I have a partner, but no luscious sex going on …. lol Hang in there, we are all getting grumpy!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I found myself sliding back into the coping skills I learned when I was being treated for severe depression a few years ago. I had NO idea that some of the tools I had to learn would come in handy because of a Virus! So this is me, I do go to work because I’m ‘essential’ lol. So that is when I get to go out. When I get home though, it’s inside time unless I’m walking my dog. So what do I do? I write, I draw, I play my guitar, I play with my dog I call my friends or write letters. The trick is, to do those things- or most of those things at the same time every day. Don’t ask me why, but having a routine keeps you focused. Then I take a break.That’s when I watch TV or eat snacks. Fun stuff. Anyway. It works for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Boy sorry to read you are like this Paula, did you see this ? I think you need one … this is the best l can do for you 🙂

    https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2020/03/26/the-huge-hug-club-10/

    Liked by 1 person

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