The Couch Potato Club [socs 300]

Stream of Consciousness Saturday

Ever since he was a baby spud πŸ₯”, Russ wanted to become a member of the Couch Potato Club. All the best potatoes belonged to the CPC: Big Red, Goldie, Yam… Russ made it his life’s mission to emulate those tates.

First, he worked out. As soon as he got up in the morning, Russ headed straight for the couch. He never got distracted with invitations to the beach or anything like that. He pulled down the shades so he wouldn’t see sunshine, blue skies, and spuds playing on the grass.

Second, he made sure he had everything he needed right next to him on the couch, just like the CPC handbook said to do. Remotes for the TV, cell phone, snacks, and drinks. He left the couch only to use the bathroom.

Third, if anyone asked him for a favor, he’d say he was busy. It was harsh, but Russ knew he had to be tough and relentless to reach his goal.

Finally, he applied for membership, sure he’d get in. He submitted his best selfie, very proud of how he looked like a big fat lumpy tate on his couch. The reply came quickly. Rejection!

Russ was heartbroken. What happened? He called his friend Yam, hoping to get a direct answer.

“Sorry, bro,” Yam said. “But we have video footage of you in the grocery store.”

“But… but… I needed more snacks!”

“A true Couch Potato orders online and has snacks delivered to maximize couch time. It says so on page forty-seven, paragraph three of the CPC handbook.”

“I missed that,” Russ cried. “I’m sorry! May I try again?”

“Nope. You’re banned for life.”

Russ was so depressed he went outside to play in the sun, didn’t watch where he was going, and got mashed by a truck.

~*~

Β© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

25 responses to “The Couch Potato Club [socs 300]

  1. Oh that made me laugh – poor baby spud!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ll just bet it was a dairy truck too…poor Russ.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I needed a chuckle this morning. Sorry to laugh at poor Russ’ expense.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. The best story to start the day! Hilarious.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Russ was able to do the mashed potato dance now.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Aw, poor Russ. Guess he had his chips……………. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I’m seeing this as a film starring Nick Cage.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Russ should have kept his eyes open! Ha, get it? Potato, eyes? Oh, never mind.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. hee hee so funny! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Was that Russ as in Russet?

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Loved this. Poor little spud. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  12. LOL! I’d be devastated, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Ah, man, spud dude should have done organ donation instead and become somebody’s order of fries.

    BTW, you know those yams are faking it, right?

    (Wonderful read! It’s like children’s stories for adults! Totally love this!!!)

    Liked by 1 person

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