It Could Have Been Worse

“It could have been raining.” (Young Frankenstein)

Raining

That would have definitely been worse! Let me explain… and hopefully you’ll smile. I know I had to or else.

Ten days ago I smashed my toe on the wheel of my bed. It still hurts a lot, and the top of my foot is so bruised and swollen I can’t wear closed shoes without limping, but luckily I have two pairs of old lady Naturalizer sandals (one black, one beige), so I’m okay until it’s cold. I guess it doesn’t matter if my toe is broken or not, since it’s straight (not that there’s anything wrong with gay toes or bi toes or whatever… I don’t remember all the things). It’ll heal when it heals.

Shrug

Continuing with the “most accidents occur in the home” theme, last Saturday I stabbed myself while cutting an avocado. I don’t mean I sliced my finger; I mean I literally stabbed myself in the left palm. I couldn’t believe it happened. Bad things happen so quickly ~ have you noticed? I’m like wait, no, I didn’t mean to be so stupid! Welp, too late. So much blood. Probably because of all the Advil I’ve been taking for my foot… but the stab had to clot sooner or later, was my theory. I’m a logical person. I did not want to go to an ER full of germs. 😷

Happily, I had a handy dandy first aid kit in my bathroom, yay! It expired in 2003, wtf? Seriously, how did that happen? But the gauze and bandages were still good. I fixed up my hand and went to CVS. Wow, there are so many fancy bandages out now! It’s really hard to choose. I bought a few different ones, tape, some medical gloves (to keep my hand dry while washing my hair, you pervs), etc. Now I have a splendid pile of supplies and feel ready for the next disaster.

First Aid Kit

Okay then. Last night, I came home from work, thought everything was going as well as could be expected. Foot was the same, but at least I had comfy sandals. Hand was healing nicely. I got out of my car and saw a window screen on the ground. That’s funny, I thought, how would a window screen…

Omg…

BAD KITTY!!!!! 🐱

I grabbed the screen (with my good hand) and ran hobbled upstairs. Oh, thank God, Gatsby was still in the apartment! All these years, I’ve made sure to leave the main windows open only two inches when I’m not there because I can’t trust him not to go crazy at a bird, but this last year he’s been much calmer and I’ve been leaving them open 24/7 when it’s hot.

Obviously, his mellowness at the windows has all been a ruse. His intent all along has been to attack one of the screens and knock it out. Luckily, he forgot to escape… or if he did, he returned. How would I know? 😳

By far my largest fear is losing my kitty; he’d be an orphan all alone out there with speeding cars and hungry coyotes ~ how long would my sweetie last? 😢 But what if something had come in that wide open window? A big scary bird… a flying elephant on laxatives … a horde of killer bees… a sharknado? Gahhh!

Hence the Young Frankenstein quote.

Gatsby kitty cat

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

32 responses to “It Could Have Been Worse

  1. Gatsby gets cuter every time I see him.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Glad you AND kitty are okay. One more incident and we’ll need to order a bubble for you to live in! 😊

    *Rushes to check expiration dates in first aid kit!* 😜

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Get well soon (and stop hurting yourself!). And watch Gatsby! Now that he knows he can knock the screen off… I mean, it does start to rain right after Igor says that line. 😆

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Take care of yourself please.
    And why do we find expired first aid kits when we need them the most. And why doesnt anything happen when they are not expired..I mean I will never understand this.

    Gatsby is adorable ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A series of un-fortunate events?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Glad Gatsby was still in the house and no baddies were in there.
    I need to throw out all my expired first aid stuff, too.
    Try not to have any more encounters with bed wheels and knives! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. well, be careful, chuckle, this was fun to read though as you hit various prompts (hit them softly i meant, without toes and hands and……….ack Be careful!)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Life!! I hear you about your kitty getting out . Dangers to our pets are worse than worrying about ourselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh my! Every time I cut an avocado I’m afraid of not stabbing myself too 😊 I’m glad is healing nicely and I’m glad Gatsby is ok too 😊 🐱

    Like

  10. Glad your cat is okay. I’ve done one or two frantic searches of the apartment myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I actually had a swarm of bees take up residence in room because young King Ben trashed the screen. Why my room?? Murphy’s Law. I burned about three packages of incense and shooed them out. I missed a few that got shooed the next day.
    Do these sort of things happen often or is my Murphyness jumping to you?
    Glad your kitty decided to stay home where he belongs😻

    Liked by 1 person

  12. That was lots of fun to read.

    During a televised football game last winter, I had a couple beers, then went to the extra fridge in the garage… and seriously stubbed a big toe on the stair back up toward the kitchen. The (major) crack in the toenail is halfway grown out now. It turned black and blue and dark red (after bleeding and so forth); I’ve kept it painted with a bright opaque coral pink and then a silver glitter on top — after experimenting with what covered best. I can find you the specific brand and color name if you want to know 😏

    Liked by 1 person

    • Omgosh that sounds painful! The weird thing is my toes look fine/normal. I just have a bruise on the top of my foot. And of course the injured toe hurts if I touch it at all 😢

      Like

  13. You’re funny 😛

    Did you know that people cut themselves while slicing open avocados so often, that some doctors have a term for it. “Avocado Hand”. A lot of people try plucking out the pit with it and stab themselves.

    I’ve almost done it a few times myself!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. If bad things come in three, you are all set. Maybe… But, ooch, be careful with the appendages. As you said, what else can you do but smile? It could be worse.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Pingback: The Weekly Smile Recap 8/5 – 6/11/2019 | Trent's World (the Blog)

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