Instructions for optimal health, according to the experts. 😀
1. “Throw out this vegetable now!” Which one? You’ll have to watch a 47-hour video to discover the answer.
2. Eat like a caveman: meat, berries, nuts, roots, etc. 🍇
3. Remember that cavemen died at age 27, max, so don’t eat like a caveman. 💀
4. Eat only one meal a day, so your liver has time to detox between feedings.
5. No, what you need to do is graze all day long like a cow, mooooooo. 🐄
6. Speaking of, give up dairy, unless you’re a baby cow. 🍼
7. No, dairy is fine, as long as it’s nonfat.
8. Wrong! Fat is fine; sugar is the new evil.
9. Sugar and carbs, honey. You should be getting all your nutrients from the air. 🌈
10. Btw, you’re breathing all wrong. Send us money and we’ll show you why… 💰