Today Gloop got the results
Of his ancestor kit in the mail–
Things were worse than he’d feared
For his test had done failed
To show even one blood connection
In the town of Gloopity Gloo.
Now poor Gloop felt so lost
He didn’t know what to do!
Gloop put on his best coat
And went down to the lake
Where the ancient witch lived
With her oracle snake.
The snake was curled on its pillow—
The witch interpreted this sign
That Gloop should skedaddle at once
And leave the town far behind.
Gloop disliked fuss and change,
But he trusted the seer,
So he gathered his things
And grabbed a couple of beers.
He headed down the highway,
As scared as a mouse,
And when he was gone,
The witch moved into his house.