I see it’s up to me to break up the syrupy brunch of Mommy Day posts full of flowers and pancakes and goopity goo, mm yes please I would like another mimosa hold the OJ thanks…
What was I saying? Oh! Yes, things I hate. Let’s start with slide. No, I’m not talking about those things in the park next to the swings. I’m talking about the absolutely enraging expression “it was a slide into the DMs.” If you haven’t been living under a rock, you know that this is the stupid way young people describe encountering one another privately on a social media site for romantic/ sexual purposes.
In other words, he sent her a message.
For fuck’s sake. We already have normal words like message, text, and email. We don’t need this idiotic slide thing. It drives me bananas.
Next up is drop. This is a word we use in its appropriate sense all the time as in these examples:
1. He drops women after three dates.
2. Don’t drop the baby, Grandma!
3. I dropped the package off at FedEx.
In the past, we had a perfectly good word to describe the action of an artist releasing a new piece of work, whether a song, album, book, painting, etc. We used the word release, in fact! But now these irritating people are using the word drop just to annoy me.
“My single dropped at midnight.”
It sounds like code for a spy operative. “The dog didn’t bark?”
“No, he was poisoned by the double agent.”
“Funny, I thought you were the double agent.”
Even more things I hate coming soon!