The Weekly Smile

My smile is a little different this week. It’s not something small and self-contained but more conceptual.

I’ve been playing some of Rory’s Valentine’s challenges and got to one last night (no. 14) that I was going to write and schedule for today. Its theme was about my worst dates. Hah, I thought, I have a million of ’em… how to even choose? So many disasters, so many horrible jerks, so many…

Then I tried to pick three specific ones for the prompt. Worst date. Bad blind date. Dating disaster. Obviously this would be so easy for me! You’ve heard me complain for years about my terrible time with dating site men, etc. I’ve posted several funny stories but not scary-sad ones. (Or if I did, I deleted them.)

But a weird thing seems to have happened. While I remember that there were bad dates and can recall specific names and situations, the feelings have faded. When I used to revisit these memories, it was like walking barefoot over a field of sharp rocks. Ow ow ow! Last night it was as if the rains had come and the rocks were all underwater. I could see them, but they didn’t hurt me.

And I didn’t feel like writing about them. They all seemed too boring, with the ripples of the water making them look harmless. I didn’t want to reach in and pick up a rock to see if its edges were still sharp and hurty. Just leave them all.

This made me happy. This made me smile. I was serious when I said I managed to cure myself of my 2017 depression without therapy or meds. I let myself feel all the anger and sadness I needed to feel. I wrote all the poetry I needed to write. I didn’t hide anything away in the attic so that it would return to haunt me later.

And now it’s done. Sorry I can’t write about my bad dates. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

30 responses to “The Weekly Smile

  1. Really great, Paula!! Nice work!! Yeah to be free of those draining emotions!๐Ÿ’—

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post Paul. Did you pick up my tag on Tell The Story yesterday?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. oops, sorry, the ‘a’ dropped Paula.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yay! Healing! โค Too bad it means no jaw-dropping stories from the mating scene, but I'll live. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Some things are best forgotten.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Wonderful. The process of catharsis is complete.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh, that’s awesome! I look forward to a day when I can say the same.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m glad for you. I’m glad there is a cushion of time gone by to ease the remembrance of less than happy memories.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sometimes those memories can be awful things – I’m glad the edges have been rounded off of these ones and that you can move on. Perhaps “time heals all wounds” (though we know that isn’t always true), inner strength or whatever, it’s great that instead of hurting you got a smile out of it ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ain’t that wonderful! All the extra baggage gone.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Pingback: The Weekly Smile Recap Week of 2/11/2019 – 2/17/2019 | Trent's World (the Blog)

  12. This is a WONDERFUL smile post! And I hope 2019 will bring you some great dates, if not the PERFECT date!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Sometimes, though, those bad dates are what helped to make us the women we are today.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thatโ€™s true. I donโ€™t think Iโ€™m a better person though for having had so many bad dates and negative experiences with the process generally since my divorce. Itโ€™s made me give up entirely on the idea of finding someone at all. Iโ€™m suspicious of new men if they approach me in any way flirtatiously and I wonder if they are liars or con men of some type. Itโ€™s impossible for me to trust anyone at all because of whatโ€™s happened. But on the other hand, now instead of trying to date, which was frustrating and depressing, I focus on work, family, and hobbies, which are rewarding and fun, so I am happier.


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