I may come across as a hissing witch of negativity when it comes to dating (dating sites in particular), but I wasn’t always this way. Before I began denouncing the entire process as an impossible nightmare, there were a few fun times.
I remember meeting one man just about this time of year, waaay back in 2011, which seems like a lifetime ago now. This was only a few months after my divorce was final and I felt so free and happy. I had joined a couple dating sites and was very upbeat, not sarcastic, not dark and fatalistic, but optimistic and energetic.
Anyway, I met this guy at a Starbucks near my office after work. Back then, I didn’t roll my eyes at the cliché of a coffee meet. It was all new and fun! I didn’t care where we met! After we got our drinks and sat down, he held a sprig of mistletoe over my head and kissed me. Just a little kiss! It was so cute! I thought, wow, my life is really just beginning.
But it turned out he was married. Now, here’s the thing. Back then, I was a purist. I was divorced, so I wanted to date divorced men, not separated men. Sometimes men who say they’re separated are actually still living with their wives… they’ve only just “separated” for an hour and a half. But some people really do go through lengthy divorce proceedings (mine took 2+ years), and maybe I was too quick to write them all off.
Too late now, but as I said in the title… misty memories. It’s that time of year for ’em. As the months/years passed, and I met more liars and grew more negative, I’m sure I gave off a bad vibe myself. Hard not to, whether in writing, facial expression, or in person. I became more secretive, not wanting to give my phone number for longer periods of time, which may have made me seem suspicious. Who doesn’t give out a number? Married folks. People who are hiding something and don’t want to be googled. People you can’t trust.
Ah well. You can’t undo what happened. “It is what it is.” And like some soppy holiday movie, I found happiness right where I left it… surrounded by family: two wonderful daughters, their fabulous husbands, and now I even have an adorable grandbaby to love.