In the spirit of Impmas, I’m going to answer a few Q’s. Hopefully I’ll have time to do a proper prompt poast later. 😀
Do you believe in the big guy in the red suit, long bushy white beard and overhanging belly and reckons he can flit between chimneys like he’s Superman or summit? If yes, why??? If not, why not?
– Of course! How else would all those prezzies get under the trees like clockwork every xmoose morning? Dur!
How many times have you been bad this year, as in pranking, joking around, losing your temper and getting up to no good?
– Never. Pure as a fluffy cloud of Johnson & Johnson baby powder right here.
Are you always polite and squeaky clean? Dot your i’s and cross your T’s? Or like me don’t get bovvered with all that malarkey? If you do, why’s it so important like?
– Definitely. I’m the very model of a modern major gentlewoman.
Are you a right ol’ whiner and moaner? I like a bit of wine meself if honest! If so, ‘ow much do you gargle down per week? Or maybe you be one of those who like to get into the spirit of fings?
– I beg your pardon! A lady never discusses her drinking habits (hic).
Right, can’t believe l am asking this question, but it’s a norty list question from the big guy. What’s the nicest thing you’ve done all this year? However mine is, what’s the sneakiest thing you have done?
– Nicest thing? I saved a truckload of endangered tigers from being killed by savages. Sneakiest? I lied about the savages. And the tigers. And the truck.
How many people have you not upset this year with your sneakies and nortyness?
– Not a single one!
The other day Glubby turned up at the door an’ he wos wearing the most hideous cape and unmatching hat lhad ever seen! EVER, now l told him that it was not just ugly but right Fugly! he was not best pleased. How would you ‘andle it, be truthful, lie or summit else?
– It depends whether he brought me an xmoose pressie. Not enough info here.
Whilst walkin’ in the street, you come across a fifty [of your currency] lying on the ground, whaddya do wif it?
– Give it to the nearest endangered tiger who needs it more than I do!
Do you always do the best that you can for yourself? [Didn’t expect that question did ya?]
– Naturally (preens).
When you wos young and at that fing called school, how many detentions or stay behind after class did you end up with per week?
– I promised the hot math teacher I wouldn’t tell.
You’re at the shop and the person in front of the till is 9 cents/pence short of their bill being paid, whaddya do …?
– Feed her to the closest tiger… kidding! Of course I would switch lines so as not to embarrass the poor dear.
A friend of yours after eating dinner or grub, has got a right ‘orrible stain on his/her shirt and hasn’t seen it and ‘as to go out to an important date, do you tell ’em?
– It depends. Who is she meeting? Would I like him?
Are you a right proper prankster? Tell me your best Norty prank for 2018
– It’s still in process.
Finally, do you cuss/curse/swear a lot? [Don’t worry like, Imp’s promise, won’t tell a soul!!]
– Fuck no. Hardly ever.