Sunday at the Maul [rantish]

Yesterday, after having a fabulous pizza lunch with my dear friend at a lovely restaurant literally a few steps from my apartment, I had the bright idea to go shopping at South Coast Plaza. Let me explain! I reasoned that all the exciting deals would be starting on dreadful Black Friday, so I could browse in peace the weekend prior to the madness.

Wrong! Wrongety wrong wrong wrong. I can admit when I’m wrong, and man I was wrong with a side helping of wrongola.

But once I was there and had been driving around for 15 minutes looking for parking, I wasn’t about to change my mind and give up. Nope. At first, I searched the lanes methodically, banking on my good parking karma as a considerate driver, but that got me nowhere, so then I cruised around haphazardly until I found an empty space, which happened to be at the butt-end of Saks, but hey… good exercise, amirite?

After entering the maul itself, I made a beeline (whatever that is) for the spot all the way on the opposite side where I had a vague memory my favorite baby store Gymboree used to be located. Yay, it was still there! Boo, it didn’t have anything I liked. But Baby Gap was right next door, hurrah! They had a super cute outfit! But no matching booties. What? Can’t buy a footless baby outfit sans matching sox! The horror.

I readjusted my bearings to the shambles of the reality of the maul and the fact that I’d have to navigate it. Good gawd it was stuffed with people! So many people. There was a snow house dealio, so naturally all the people with kids needed to pose around there. It was too crowded for me to see if a Santa lurked within. People without kids were also posing. Selfie time! Not me, obviously. Ever since I quit Facebook and Instagram, I’m amazed at how few selfies and pics of food I actually need.

I made a silent vow: I would not leave the maul sans my holiday gifts. No way was I enduring this torture without a payoff. I didn’t need that many, mostly just the baby stuff. Eventually, I found it at Macy’s, which was having the most incredible pre-sale sales, even for those of us lucky enough not to be burdened with the misfortune of having a Macy’s credit card (world’s worst T&C’s).

I was going to regale y’all with the side story of how I managed to find the ONE THING not on sale at Macy’s: a black bra. But this poast is already so long no one in their right mind is going to read it. Not to mention I have two prompt words left here on my Post-It and I need to use them, but they don’t go with a bra at all.

On the way out, I just happened to pass the jewelry department and discovered that some of their sterling silver was 75% off. Now, this was just crazy! I began to look at the earrings and found a pair with created opals. I used to be turned off by the idea of “fake” stones, but now I think they’re not only better deals than genuine stones but more ethical purchases besides. Anyway, these lil opals were soooo colorful and sparkly, and now only $10! So, I bought myself a treat. I don’t consider a bra a treat. That’s more like… tires.

Okay then. Done with the maul for another year or 10. So much nicer to order online or go to cute little shops that are out of the mainstream.