Bottoms Up [mini-rant]

“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than have a frontal lobotomy!”

I said that to my daughter yesterday and she assumed it was one of my brilliant wordplays, but I had to confess I didn’t come up with it. Who did? I asked google, and ended up tangled in a kerfuffle. Even Stephen King has a Twitter thread about the phrase. What’s clear as mud is that the song we know and lurve from Dr. Demento is not its first occurrence.

Seems like either Dorothy Parker, W.C. Fields, or Fred Allen coined it, according to the internet. And not only that, but the original phrasing is like so: “I’d rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy!” If anyone has the definitive story of this phrase, spill it in comments please.

I dedicate this poast to booze, given that it’s the beginning of fall, the harvest moon, and delicious pumpkin spice goodness. I raise my cup of tea in a toast to the season, fruit of the vine, red red wine, and only wish it could be laced with whiskey (or whisky). We have a strange relationship with alcohol in this country. Well, I don’t ~ I have no relationship with it, so sad. Unlike dating, I actually miss alcohol. Love you, bye forever. 😢 🥀💔

As I understand it, if a woman (or girl) gets drunk and something bad happens to her, everyone will say she only has herself to blame.

But if a man (or boy), gets drunk and does something bad, people will excuse his behavior due to the booze and say well ya know… boys, whaddaya gonna do?

We’ve arbitrarily decided that no one can have a taste of alcohol until they’re 21, not even if they’re with their parents, but then we send kids off to college at 18, call them adults… yet they’re totally unprepared to deal with the booze-soaked reality of college life. Parents aren’t allowed to teach a teenager how to drink a glass or two of wine, or a couple beers, so they over-indulge like maniacs once they get away. If you believe that yours aren’t gonna do this, bwahahaha.

So much of dating and adult socializing in general is tied up with our drinking culture in weird ways too, even though we have super strict laws about drunk driving, as we should. We should imo have more enforcement of our other traffic laws too, especially speeding and red light running, huge issues in SoCal. Anyway, dating after divorce reminded me again what a huge part alcohol plays in our society. During my marriage, we rarely drank ~ maybe we should have, lol. But now it’s moot because of chronic migraines.

I know, I know. You were thinking I was about to careen off into a wild rant about you know what and you know who and omg can you believe those guys and did you read what he said about what she said and then that whole thread holy crap on a canapé amirite?

We’re good then.

18 responses to “Bottoms Up [mini-rant]

  1. I’m with you on the traffic violations. Running a red light is the “violent crime” people say they wish the police would worry about instead. I mean, how much more violent could ramming one two-ton car into another be? With people inside.
    I don’t drink much anymore. Not at all, for all practical purposes, so everything I do wrong is strictly my fault.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Coyote from Orion

    I haven’t drunk it in 19 years and I massively respect it. I don’t hate it at all. It is the only thing to thoroughly beat me. I love normal people who can enjoy a few drinks with impunity. They are doing something I never could. We have a duty to look out for and protect good people.
    Bless you guys in America

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I Googled “I’d rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy” and this is what I found:

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Really good points here Paula. There was a time where the word date rape was non-existent. After many date rapes, society understood. Nice post.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lol! I think it was Bukowski! I could for sure be wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Er, there’s a song for that whole ‘frontal lobotomy/bottle in front of me’..but it’s decidedly politically incorrect. So watch it if you want, or pass….

    Liked by 1 person

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