Group Noodles

Community conjures up the feels. I’m an only child, and my parents weren’t involved in religion, sports, or even extended family get-togetherness (much), so I grew up in a community of three. We also moved house frequently, so I didn’t have long-term friendships until high school. Those were individualized more than with groups, so again… not much experience with community.

This all led me to the mindset that I was alone in the world and could do for myself with no help from anyone, which is true regarding some things but not so much others. Forex, I’m happy with a lot of alone time while others need to be more social; but I am not exactly Miz Fix-It. When something goes wrong, I usually need a person to help me. That is unfortunate, but it is what it is. Luckily, there are a lot of people who know things.

I had an identity as wife for a couple decades, along with mom, so I was part of a family group. When I joined a temple, along with some informal social groups, I was a member of those communities, but my interest in them dissolved as time went by.

I felt part of the diverse Huntington Beach community when I owned real estate there, but after I sold it, not so much. Now I rent in Costa Mesa and don’t feel much of a connection. If someone said Costa Mesa sucks, forex, I’d shrug and not feel any need to defend.

Sometimes I’m happy I grew up free from group identities, but otoh it makes it harder for me to relate to others, especially now in this increasingly polarized political climate. Politics is the one thing I find myself getting groupish about at times, and I dislike that. I want to feel I can blend in and be friends with anyone, or no one, if I choose.

I’ve noticed that most people like to tie themselves to groups ~ I think it’s human nature. Safety in numbers and all that. Occasionally I feel a twinge of identity, like woohoo I’m in the blogging community ~ I’m a blogger… hear me rawr! ~ but that doesn’t really mean anything. It’s not important like, say, being a Raiders fan, or whatever. Those people take their identity and community seriously.

5 responses to “Group Noodles

  1. We are so alike. I was raised as a single child and never attended the same school for more than two years (for various reasons, moving being a big one). I’ve never figured out how to be friends with people I work with, or even live next door to. I keep my lives separate from each other. Never really thought about the years of playing by myself and not always having friends my own age as defining the lack of interest in belonging to a group of people, but it makes sense.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’ve always felt a kinship with you! What’s funny is that we’ve both stayed at one job/company for ages… wonder if that’s just a coincidence or we’ve been attempting to create ONE stable thing?

      Liked by 1 person

      • My one stable thing is my condo. Bought in 1986. Still here. I like not moving. 🙂 I am surprised at being at the same company for 35 years, but I’ve had many different jobs in different departments so there’s been enough change to keep me happy.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Keera and Paula, I too relate as an only child that was independent at an early age and rarely belonged to any groups. I’ve found that my writing community is one of the few groups that I enjoy with the exception of my Yoga classes. good job and great post.

    Liked by 1 person

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