I had lunch with a good friend today. I chose the place this time ~ Greenleaf Chopshop in Costa Mesa SOCO. There are loads of delicious healthy offerings on the menu and we both ordered the same thing: 1/2 Greek salad with steak on top and iced tea. We sat outside and ate/chatted for two hours. It was wonderful! But that’s not what I came to tell you about tonight.
As I parked, I remembered I had a date here ~ not at Greenleaf, but at a coffee shop inside the mall. This was toward the end of my dating career when I had decided eff everything I’m just going to meet whoever sounds halfway reasonable. My “thinking” was that all my lists and requirements had gotten me nowhere, so maybe I’d abandon them and meet men who were attracted to my profile. That had to mean something, I figured. Of course I googled them first. I mean duh.
Anyway, this guy ~ let’s call him Soupy ~ had messaged me on whatever site. He wouldn’t have been someone I chose. First, he had a bunch of facial hair, which generally is not something I’m attracted to (some exceptions). Second, he was allegedly changing jobs, so his messages were sporadic, which can be a red flag indicating a man is attached. (They set up excuses in advance to give reasons why they’re unavailable.) Third, he wanted to meet for coffee (boring/cheap) but insisted we go to this particular coffee place because he was fussy about coffee (annoying).
However! He was smart and funny, so I decided… la la, who cares? Nothing is working out ~ why not have a cup of coffee with the dude? Don’t be so picky! What’s the worst that could happen? I have bad coffee?
Well, actually. I had no coffee.
I thought this was amusing. I found Soupy, who looked nothing like his pics (older), but since he was the only beardy guy sitting alone at a table I figured it must be him. I are a brainiac! He had already ordered his own coffee and almost finished it. Didn’t stand up or offer to get me any. I sat down. We chatted for an hour or so and it was a good convo, but not once did he ask me if I wanted coffee. I assumed I was supposed to get my own, and I didn’t really feel like it, so I didn’t.
We left, went to our cars, no hugs, no discussion of another meeting, etc. I didn’t hear from him, so I texted him a day or so later telling him I had enjoyed meeting him, since that was true and one of my male friends had told me that some men expect women to do this or else they think they shouldn’t follow up (not sure about this, but okay). Soupy said he felt the same and we’d have to get together again. Then… nothing. I didn’t follow up further because I’m not chasing anyone.
It’s been a while since I met Soupy, and since I didn’t care about him to begin with, I don’t remember many details ~ age, kids, doggie, etc. Dunno any of that. But I definitely remember we met for coffee one evening and I didn’t have any coffee. I did return to the little mall soon thereafter (gahd forbid there is an unexplored mall within my territory) to check out the otter stores… and I stopped for coffee at the coffee shop on my own.