No Coffee for You! [dating story]

File_001 (2)

I had lunch with a good friend today. I chose the place this time ~ Greenleaf Chopshop in Costa Mesa SOCO. There are loads of delicious healthy offerings on the menu and we both ordered the same thing: 1/2 Greek salad with steak on top and iced tea. We sat outside and ate/chatted for two hours. It was wonderful! But that’s not what I came to tell you about tonight.

As I parked, I remembered I had a date here ~ not at Greenleaf, but at a coffee shop inside the mall. This was toward the end of my dating career when I had decided eff everything I’m just going to meet whoever sounds halfway reasonable. My “thinking” was that all my lists and requirements had gotten me nowhere, so maybe I’d abandon them and meet men who were attracted to my profile. That had to mean something, I figured. Of course I googled them first. I mean duh.

Anyway, this guy ~ let’s call him Soupy ~ had messaged me on whatever site. He wouldn’t have been someone I chose. First, he had a bunch of facial hair, which generally is not something I’m attracted to (some exceptions). Second, he was allegedly changing jobs, so his messages were sporadic, which can be a red flag indicating a man is attached. (They set up excuses in advance to give reasons why they’re unavailable.) Third, he wanted to meet for coffee (boring/cheap) but insisted we go to this particular coffee place because he was fussy about coffee (annoying).

However! He was smart and funny, so I decided… la la, who cares? Nothing is working out ~ why not have a cup of coffee with the dude? Don’t be so picky! What’s the worst that could happen? I have bad coffee?

Well, actually. I had no coffee.

I thought this was amusing. I found Soupy, who looked nothing like his pics (older), but since he was the only beardy guy sitting alone at a table I figured it must be him. I are a brainiac! He had already ordered his own coffee and almost finished it. Didn’t stand up or offer to get me any. I sat down. We chatted for an hour or so and it was a good convo, but not once did he ask me if I wanted coffee. I assumed I was supposed to get my own, and I didn’t really feel like it, so I didn’t.

We left, went to our cars, no hugs, no discussion of another meeting, etc. I didn’t hear from him, so I texted him a day or so later telling him I had enjoyed meeting him, since that was true and one of my male friends had told me that some men expect women to do this or else they think they shouldn’t follow up (not sure about this, but okay). Soupy said he felt the same and we’d have to get together again. Then… nothing. I didn’t follow up further because I’m not chasing anyone.

It’s been a while since I met Soupy, and since I didn’t care about him to begin with, I don’t remember many details ~ age, kids, doggie, etc. Dunno any of that. But I definitely remember we met for coffee one evening and I didn’t have any coffee. I did return to the little mall soon thereafter (gahd forbid there is an unexplored mall within my territory) to check out the otter stores… and I stopped for coffee at the coffee shop on my own.

It sucked.

7 responses to “No Coffee for You! [dating story]

  1. Whew. THAT was a “cosmic close-call.” It’s all too easy to imagine a slightly different string of random events, a sharp noise, a stray thought, an innocent turn in the conversation, that would have resulted in you dating this guy for six months before moving with him to Decatur, Alabama. Count your lucky stars.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I also tried their coffee and was underwhelmed. It’s the same coffee shop as the one at the Blob.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. lol sounds very familiar … well written 🙂


  4. WHy did you pick “Soupy?” Did he look like Soupy Sales? Did he look like he was a soup eater? (Like, maybe he had dribbles on his shirt.) What’s the story?
    And I don’t understand the reasoning behind texting him the next day. I mean, HE DIDN’T EVEN STAND UP. Ok, maybe he was behind the curve in social graces, but still.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Soupy as in “no soup for you!” Idk why I texted him… guess I was happy about the normal convo and thought maybe he hadn’t dated much so he was just awkward. But luckily nothing continued.


  5. You strike me as both kind and open-minded to have given him a second chance. Also sensible to have gone no further than that. I hope the dude gets some manners someday — and not superficially.

    Liked by 1 person

Your thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.