The Meta Conversation

Boston Creme

Or what we talk about when we talk about talking. [hat tip to Raymond Carver]

Some people dislike “small talk,” the meaningless howareyas, haveaniceweeekends, coldenoughforyas watercooler type of chitchat. I never minded it. To me, it’s part of the please and thank you polite currency that smoothes over the transactions of our workplace relationships. Are we merely pretending to care about each other? Maybe. Maybe not. Do we always care that deeply about the answers to all the questions we pose to our friends and family, or is some of that merely filler as well? I don’t even mind when strangers ~ cashiers, waiters, neighbors ~ say this stuff to me. So what?

Why is filler conversation bad? Filler can be delicious, like the custard in a donut (mmm donuts). I’m part of a group where the leaders ask many “meaningless” questions, some of which I skip over, and some of which I reply to. I read other people’s answers when I have time, and often they’re interesting ~ first jobs, favorite writers, hobbies ~ and occasionally one of those poasts inspires me to write a longer piece myself, such as this one, or even a pome later on. Some of the group questions aren’t filler, but too personal to answer and I ponder them silently. I admire the brave folks who do reply. If I can think of a joke or a response that isn’t too revealing, I’ll put that. It may appear as though I’m an open book, but perhaps that’s just sleight of hand. You’ll never know, will you?

I’ve told you everything you know about me, but I haven’t told you everything I know. [hat tip to General Boris Alexandroff ~ yabbut rando site says so]

Most convo though is like shadows on the cave wall. We create definitions of words so we can communicate (table, cat, apple), but the whole endeavor quickly gets so tricky (love, loyalty, patriotism) that we assume a shaky base of mutual understanding in order to proceed, and often our assumptions turn out to be false. Oh, that’s not what I meant by love. Hah, fooled you! Or people can say that’s not what they meant even if they did mean it, and this becomes a totally legit way of squirming out of something because we all know conversation is just like this, even when it isn’t.

How conveeenient!

Now we make a new friend, bonding over shared heartbreak. Two people who’ve been burned by others deliberately (or so it seems) misunderstanding definitions miserably commiserate. Isn’t that nice? But wait…

~*~

The Daily Prompt: Conversation

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4 responses to “The Meta Conversation

  1. Recently I saw a person I would describe as a casual friend, and said my usual, “Hey, what’s up?” She turned away from me, deliberately ignoring me, so I then said, (only half-jokingly) “You’re not talking to me anymore?” She turned, obviously irritated, and said, “Well, how am I supposed to answer a question like that?” All I could come up with was to shrug my shoulders and sort of drift away from her.
    So, the communication that took place was, Me: I want to interact with you but I don’t know enough about you, lately, to make intelligent observations or queries. She: You are tiresome and irritating. Me: You just hurt my feelings. She: I can manufacture a reason for my behavior–but you are tiresome and irritating anyway. I just don’t want to admit that I would be rude to you in order for you to go away.
    Did I get that right?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Chris McLaughlin

    Who knows, Roy? Words are confusing enough, but guessing the intention behind them, that’s crazy territory.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Pingback: Author Interview – Donna Migliaccio – “The Gemeta Stone Series” – “Kinglet”, “Fiskur” and StoneKing (Epic Fantasy) | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

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