Windsong

I can’t seem to forget you…
Your Windsong stays on my mind.

Remember that commercial for the Prince Matchabelli perfume from 1980? I thought about it tonight when I unexpectedly ran across someone online from years ago and remembered him, but he had no memory of me at all. It was so vivid for me too, that connection we had during a time that was intense and painful for both of us, about a decade ago, and yet… it clearly meant nothing to him. Nothing at all. He apologized for failing to remember me, but it’s happened before, many times.

When I messaged this man, I was so… buoyant. I think that’s a good word for the emotion I felt earlier today. I had to shop at Target, and the whole time I was a bit floaty, thinking to myself how wonderful it would be to chat with someone who knew me from the time before… before the divorce, before my mother was gone. Why this is important to me, I don’t know. But it is. And so for a couple hours I felt light and happy, certain that my life would take a new direction as the man and I renewed our friendship.

I came home, put my stuff away, fed my kitty, fed the feral kitties (all three were around tonight!), got a snack, logged back on, and after a little while a message arrived. The man did not remember me. Oh well. Then that old commercial jingle popped into my head and I wondered if it would be possible to find it on YouTube. Of course… first hit.

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9 responses to “Windsong

  1. First of all, OMG I’m glad we all made it through the Eighties. Anyway, what is it?? I once started saving quarters that I found in my pocket that were minted any time before 1980 when I began working for the phone company — precisely because they were “before” that pivotal date. I guess I was merely trying to open the “crazy valve” just a little so no one would notice. But it made me feel connected to my past, and, yeah, it was kind of an elation.
    Point is, I got over it, eventually. I keep finding out forward is better. I will note that you win, by the way. You have this great memory, and that guy, apparently, does not.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry, Paula, that, “He apologized for failing to remember me, but it’s happened before, many times”, has happened many times. It’s not possible for me to understand how that must feel or why that happened. This is especially so because I know you and have what I perceive to be a decent idea of who you are. “Oh well” is not your real nor honest response. Knowing you – even just a bit – I know this.
    I’m sorry, Paula.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s a bummer when you remember someone and they don’t remember you . You failed to leave an impression, good or bad, which always leave you feeling invisible. Not to worry; you have left quite an impression on some of us!
    Also…I remember that commercial so well!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Having recently been on the other end…sort of…this made me smile in recognition. I had a cousin I grew up with and am “friends” with on Facebook come steamrolling me about something I did 40 plus years ago when we were ten. It apparently left a huge impact on her, and I have no memory of the event. Funny what sticks and what doesn’t in our faulty memories.

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  5. Well, first, thanks for the awful earworm. JK but not really – I wore that scent in the 80s! I guess it was sort of my “signature” then, though IDK if I really differentiated scents a lot back then. Of course, through the intervening twenty years of raising kids, I stopped wearing perfume altogether, and only put on makeup for work, so now I don’t have to do that at all.

    I have noticed recently, though, that for some reason I am taking in smells and movie music more than I used to. Maybe that’s another benefit of aging, having and taking the time to “stop and smell the roses” and other stuff and to listen to what I might have thought of before as background noise? And, as an added bonus since I hate to waste things, especially $, I am now using up all the odd body sprays, perfumes, etc.. that the girls had received as gifts, often from me, and left behind when they moved out. I figure that’s pretty close to a lifetime’s supply at this point.

    On the downside of having all this unscheduled free time, though, I just this morning overboiled some eggs I had on the stove to add to my packaged Caesar salad for lunch. When I put them on I told myself I’d remember to check on them when I went for my second cup of coffee. In the meantime, I decided to spend another day today in jammies (third in a row) and catch up on some emails and other writings I need to do instead of going out to prevent stir craziness. As a result, I got sucked into online and forgot about them till the smoke alarm kicked on! Of course, I will try to salvage a couple of them for later use, anyway, even after one of them exploded on Craig, who apologized for distracting me even though I was already distracted.

    Finally, on the subject of men, especially re us mature women, I say, first, can’t live with ’em, can’t kill ’em. Well, at least sometimes, and really more often than not. And, of course, we can really never have too many girlfriends. Lastly, there are always pets. I don’t think their love is unconditional – you have to feed them! The same applies to men, though they usually want more than that so, again, who really needs them?

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    • I think that it’s very difficult to begin anew when older, though of course some people do. Most of us have so many habits and solidified ideas now, so different from when we were younger and more flexible in everything, more willing to compromise and accommodate. Plus it’s so hard to trust people after having so many bad experiences, and it’s hard for other people to trust, so you know they’re looking at you as potentially untrustworthy and possibly holding back important info, which you are also doing… gah! Why bother? For sex? The older you get, the less compelling that seems as a motivation. Well, to me anyway. 🙂

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