In Which I Force Myself to Pay Attention

Some days I get down in the grumps and wonder why X keeps happening. Depending on the day/month/year, X could be any number of things. Which is why we’re using X…

I remember once thinking that I was really unlucky with tires and got way more flats than other people. Maybe there was something weird about the way I drove, like I was a nail magnet or something? When I mentioned that to the tire guy, he said, oh, everyone thinks they’re unluckier than normal about their tires. That was pretty funny. I haven’t had a flat since (now I will since I wrote this).

There are days I think I’m in horrible pain all the time, like this morning (when I was in horrible pain from a migraine with stabby neck throbs and nausea), but that’s not true. It just seems true when I’m suffering… and then when I’m not, I forget to notice. Why? Because though I have chronic pain, it’s actually normal for me not to be in horrible pain ~ there’s a difference, and it’s important to acknowledge this. I need to notice the times I feel OK, like now, and remember them.

I’ve said I’m a magnet for certain types of people, but I’ve noticed others saying the same thing. You know the types we mean ~ the drama royals, the narcissists, the nutcases. If you’re not one of these, and even if you are, you’ve surely encountered them. After a few instances, we announce, “I must be a magnet for them!” Well, no. But our interactions with the “types” are so much more vivid than our interactions with ordinary folks that we focus our attention on the types. Hence we decide we’re a magnet. If I force myself to recall more interactions, it turns out that I’ve had many more with ordinary people than with the types. They just aren’t as memorable.

At the risk of sounding a little bit woo, I need to focus my attention more on things that bring me pleasure (writing, good health, organizing plans, etc.) and less on things that make me unhappy (flat tires, horrible pain, the “types,” etc.) It’s just common sense.

Next up: crystals and aromatherapy.


The Daily Prompt: Magnet


8 responses to “In Which I Force Myself to Pay Attention

  1. Chris McLaughlin

    We are always searching for patterns. It’s how we are wired. And with the love thing, I think it’s not that we attract a certain kind of person as much as that we are attracted to them, based on patterns set up long ago. That, our brain says, is what love looks like, because it’s how we’ve experienced it. There are books about this.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Very good point! (s) Mostly, we, and the world, are OK. Millions of totally random things happen to you on a given day–why not just pay attention to the good stuff? There is enough there to keep you busy.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. But we DO attract certain types of people over and over again. More correctly we seek them out, albeit unknowingly most of the time. In other words, We are drawn to THEM. The attraction being mutual it appears to each party that we are ‘magnetic’. We may not know what we like but we like what we know; OR, we may not know what we want, but we want what we know.
    We are willing to endure a bad – even a really bad bad – because it is a behavior we are familiar with and know how to cope with. Even if it means we want to pull our hairs out one by one with rusty tweezers we will endure it because we have done so before and we know we came out of it ‘ok’. That knowledge is safer to us than taking the risk of something unknown.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. The woo phrase is to be in the moment. Pay attention to what’s going on now. I have suggested it to some to help them overcome some of the bad feelings they accumulate.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. On magnets … there’s a lot of wisdom in what Chris has to say. When we seek something, we find ourselves responding positively to it when we find it. If it’s another person, they enjoy that positive reaction and they probably feel attracted in return.

    When we focus on seeing only good/happy stuff, we start to see it more frequently, of course.

    Not so woo after all.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Take our advice, and you shall see that the world is really a happy place where everyone drives a Volkswagen.
    Oh. Sorry. That was 1968.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Since I wrote this poast, my tinnitus flared up immensely. I’ve read both that caffeine helps and hurts it, so clearly I’ve been having too much or too little. Don’t you just love the medical internet? 😦

    Trying to pay attention to those times when my ears aren’t ringing off the hook, so I can focus on not being attracted to psychos. But they’re so comfy…


    • re the medical internet, I’ve noticed that, too. The internet has, with its variety of websites on just about everything, cancelled out all knowledge, and we have effectively returned to the Dark Ages.

      Liked by 1 person

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