No Off Switch

I create best in silence and it’s easy enough to turn off the sound on all my devices. OK, maybe not the meowful one, but at least he goes into snooze mode frequently. ^..^ When I’m feeling especially creative, sometimes I even drive without music on. Weird, I know! But I absorb so much inspiration from my surroundings that even a bit more data can overwhelm me and paradoxically cause a creativity halt. I’m constantly bombarded with new ideas, almost all of which will turn out to be meh-sauce, but still… ya never know until you explore one a little.

 

Volume

The one noise I can’t turn off though is the ringing in my head. Twenty/four/seven my left ear vibrates with tinnitus and there’s nothing I can do about it. Incurable. Occasionally both ears are affected. I’m used to this, since it’s been going on for years, but the sound does interfere with writing now. Some days I simply can’t do much creative writing at all and have to be content with reading and/or watching movies. Not that this is so terrible. Love reading! Love movies!

If I get super excited by a new writing idea and think it’s the best thing ever, which hasn’t occurred in quite a while, the tinnitus volume appears to automagically dip by itself and I can focus 100%. Part of the problem may be that I remember getting excited by writing ideas in the past, and they mostly turned out to be nothing, so it’s difficult to summon up that kind of enthusiasm again.

~*~

The Daily Post: Volume

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7 responses to “No Off Switch

  1. I cannot even.

    There’s a continual hum of external noise in my world and when all else is silent around me, I become attuned to that. And the tick of a clock (they actually put a “tck-tock” sound into a battery operated cheap walmart wall clock I got.)

    I hear the thrum and wobble sounds made by a small wine fridge. The gentle wheeze of air going past the ever-present mucus in my nostrils.

    Those alone drive me a little nutz sometimes. Tinnitus would push me over the edge, I think. Maybe.

    Still. All that has to be better than voices. Someone dear to me has the dull mutter of many voices arguing in his head. Sometimes one or another comes out clearer and tells him things. Once he understood it wasn’t really demons and was “only” schizophrenia he actually managed to, well, manage it. Like you, he ignores it. He knows it’s his brain acting up.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Chris McLaughlin

    Driving without music or talk (my addiction) is a blessing. Also way safer. I can’t imagine living with the buzzing: I even sometimes ask “them” to turn down the white noise at work, which becomes a kind of lesser buzz when you are actually noticing it. Wish you didn’t have that to cope with the ringing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My left ear has been amplifying my heartbeat for months. Annoying sometimes.

    I love both silence, and total symphony-like abundance. I can work with either, each having its own dynamics. And effects.

    Like

    • I”m familiar with the heartbeat thing. The problem with that is, if you stop hearing it, you don’t know if it’s because your ear is better or if your heart stopped beating.

      Like

  4. I’m able to ignore the ringing in my ear if I’m keeping myself mentally occupied, but if I’m not doing anything in particular, and I think of it, there it is, loud and clear. I wish there was some sort of exercise or, you know, some crazy trick, to help tune it out. Like cutting a lemon in half and pressing the wet part to your afflicted ear. Something really crazy like that.

    Liked by 1 person

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