A Whore’s Breakfast

My new band name.

The first time I remember reading the phrase “a whore’s breakfast” was in Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Are you old enough to remember when that book was a thing? Good. As I vaguely recall, some mean bastard husband (are there any other kind?) said that to his wife when she and the kids were having birthday cake for breakfast.

I loved the phrase, especially because I’ve been eating cake for breakfast ever since I learned to count calories. Instead of smashing all my calories into an enormous dinner, I often save the dessert for the next day. I don’t like feeling full at bedtime, and it’s fun to look forward to cake (or pie, if you’re one of the weirdos who prefer pie to cake) in the AM.

(Sometimes I have dessert instead of dinner just to mix it up. Yes, I am a wild and crazy chick.)

Urban Dico says that a whore’s breakfast is coffee and a cigarette though. Or possibly a Coke. Hmm. Those just sound like high school breakfasts to me. Not that being in HS and being a whore have to be mutually exclusive.

I prefer to think of cake, especially birthday cake, as the true whore’s breakfast. It’s just so decadent and anti-traditional. Goes against everything your mom told you was Right & Good.

My bosses bought a delicious red velvet cake for my birthday Wednesday and I had a leftover piece for breakfast. Soooo good!

Bdaycake

I hope my pairing of whore and cake in the same poast generates a whole bunch of new bloghits and readers!

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12 responses to “A Whore’s Breakfast

  1. Is there an equally descriptive phrase for eating cold pizza for breakfast?

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  2. But it is not healthy! You will die! OMG!!!!!

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  3. Happy Birthday!!
    Coffee and cigarettes was my mom’s breakfast, and lunch, and dinner, and existence.

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  4. The first time I remember reading the phrase “a whore’s breakfast” was in Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Are you old enough to remember when that book was a thing?

    Is it okay to admit that I love this book? I read it when it first came out and was a *thing* – and I just started reading it again day before yesterday… So funny to run across this poast at just this time.

    I *love* that book. Top pick for my Secret Guilty Pleasures list 😉

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  5. This reminds me of a funny Bill Cosby routine where he described making chocolate cake for breakfast for his kids.

    And pizza for breakfast is classic TMNT.

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  6. And there I was thinking whores ate cornflakes like everyone else!

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  7. Pingback: Say Yes to the Marquess | Light Motifs

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