Sizzle Fizzle

I did something very unusual last night, and naturally I want to share the sordid details with my loyal readers.

I abandoned a book. YES. I hated it more and more and finally gave up around the halfpoint at chapter 11. (I went up to 11.) This book, Sizzling, is by Susan Mallery, and I just reviewed another book in the series, Irresistible, which I loved. I called that one “a perfect romance novel.” How could I have enjoyed one book so much and despised the other? I don’t know!

*****POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT*****

Remember when I said that the grandmother’s nastiness in Irresistible was near the edge of believability? Well, Mallery took that nastiness and blew it out to infinity for Sizzling. It was completely ridiculous… but even worse was when Grandma gave it up. Yep, one day she broke down in tears, our heroine Lori the nurse told her to quit being such a bitch, and she did. Just like that. Poof!

I absolutely could not stand the hero, Reid. God, what a jerk. And I’m supposed to wait for his redeeming qualities to emerge and shine because he’s just so darned handsome? Um no. I just can’t get interested, literarily or otherwise, in a man who’s slept with thousands of women. That’s just gross. And wah wah he only acted like a pig because all these women offered since he was this hotshot baseball player. Not only that, but his first love broke his heart, so it was only logical he felt like a useless stud. Um what? Blargh.

Even worse was Lori’s inexplicable attraction to Reid. I realize that’s the whole point of the story, but it made no sense. And Mallery kept repeating how it made no sense, but nevertheless Lori just flipped out at the sight of him every time, even though she thought he was stupid, lazy, ungrateful, etc. And suddenly Reid is no longer attracted to gorgeous women, but wants Lori, the ordinary nurse. Just, bam, like that.

Why does anything need a reason, hey? Just fling it all on the page and be done.

I stopped reading when Lori went to his room (for no reason) and let him take her to bed. “Oh, God. They were going to have sex.” Lori thinks she needs more foreplay and intimacy (and so do I, as the reader), but eh the heck with it. After all, he is soooo good-looking. How is the reader supposed to sympathize with her at this point? I was basically embarrassed for her. That was my feeling when I threw the book down in disgust. Embarrassment. It seemed as if he was doing her a favor and she knew it. Yuck!

I’m totes done with Mallery books. This was one of the worst romances I’ve ever read. I can’t remember the last time I hated a book too much to finish.

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3 responses to “Sizzle Fizzle

  1. Well now I can’t read that one! Thanks a lot! JK. But, seriously, how do these manuscripts get all the way to publication? I know people, right here on the Internet, who write better than that! (No. Really.) I’m confused. But I do get the certain, sinking feeling that the publisher doesn’t care if you finish their books or not.

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    • I don’t get it either, Roy. I mean, Mallery is clearly capable of writing a good book. Was her editor afraid to say that this one sucked? Or is it that once someone gains a certain level of popularity, no one gives a shit? Just churn ’em out, good, bad or whatever, cuz X-amount of people will buy no matter what.

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      • I think so. I mean, it makes me wonder, in a paranoid sort of way. The publisher need only monitor each novel and pull the plug when the writer’s reputation begins to affect sales. They just move on to the next new writer waiting in the wings.

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