Dos Sueños

I think about driving a lot. Not in the guy-sense of woo I’m such a great driver, vroom vroom, but in the terrified doom sense of feeling I’m going to die in a crash at some point, either because I do something stupid or (more likely) some maniac smashes into me. Then there is the less dramatic but still horrible feeling that any day one of my daughters or I will end up in a minor accident. And massive paperwork/hassle/financial-messiness will ensue.

This isn’t anything new/weird for me. I just don’t talk about it that much.

And it isn’t irrational ~ car accidents are pretty damn common. This is a more reasonable thing to worry about than, say, your kid getting abducted/molested by a stranger, which people obsess over constantly.

Not that worrying helps unless it causes you to drive more safely or, better yet, stay off the roads. That’s pretty impractical though.

Earlier this week I dreamt I drove alone to a big house because I had to go to a thingie with my ex’s family. Dunno what thingie, not the point. Point is the house was huge and so was the driveway, yet there were already cars parked in it, all crookedly (I’m famous for my crooked parking), and even though there looked to be room, it was hard to maneuver. I managed to squish my car at an angle between two others. Everything was OK. But then I decided I should straighten a bit, backed up, and mashed right into another car. It was silver ~ this I remember, but not what I was driving or much other detail.

When I looked to my left, I thought I saw my ex sitting in the driver’s seat of a car a little ways away, watching me and smiling, but when I refocused it was some other man I don’t even know.

*

Then two nights ago I dreamt I was in a house with my youngest daughter ~ kind of a townhouse type of thing, but not a place where we actually lived. She was around 10 years old, and some other girls were there, too, playing I guess. There was a horrible loud noise and I somehow knew it was a plane… went outside and there was an airplane on fire in the sky, with stuff falling out of it, suitcases, whatever. The air began to fill with smoke and ash, but when I turned to go in, my little girl had opened the front door and the cat ran out. She began yelling and chasing it, which made it run more. Papers from the plane were falling all around us while the thing kept flying and burning. Finally my daughter caught the cat and we all went in the house.

At least I haven’t dreamt about tsunamis in a while.

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2 responses to “Dos Sueños

  1. I think it means you need more cupcakes in your diet. Or better seatbelts. And airbags.

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  2. I used to be amazed at the story of how a long time ago, whenever a tsunami was coming (in the South Pacific,) and its precursor, the extreme low tide, would occur, the children would run far out onto the newly exposed beach to get rocks and shells that were normally not visible, and were not therefore picked clean. Run! I wanted to yell into my mental scenario. Run AWAY from the ocean! But, I should probably be more amazed that children get in cars all the time, and that we let them. I guess we’re still safer than the family of five careening down the streets of Amsterdam or Bangkok on a single bicycle.

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