Addressing The Crazy

I know, I know. But it’s out there, so it needs to be dealt with. While in some cases we should let these things slide away without shining a light upon their unmitigated lunacy, there are other times it does behoove us to make a definitive statement. And since this week was a veritable kaleidoscope of misinformation, I don’t think it’s a good idea to let even another sliver of kookery pass unremarked upon. So, without further preamble:

CUPCAKES ARE NOT DEAD.

Now why do I even have to trouble myself to say this? Apparently Crumbs stock has fallen. OH NOES!! NOT CRUMBS STOCK!!! SAY IT ISN’T SO OMG OMG!!!!! Could it all be true then? Maybe people aren’t eating any cupcakes. Maybe this is the end and everyone is turning to pie. Or bologna and pickle sandwiches. Halp halp!!

Ms. Lutz of Biz Insider links to the WSJ in an article where she hints darkly that cupcakes are over. In the WSJ they do the same ~ babble on about Crumbs, admit that Magnolia is still doing well, give zero data of other failing cupcakeries, and that’s the end of “dead cupcakes.” WTF? This is journalism? No wonder we’re all in disarray here.

Could we please get some professionals reporting on the state of our nation’s pastries? First-hand sources, boots on the ground, STAT! I don’t want to see any regurgitated armchair linkage. Thank you.

It’s my unprofessional opinion that people still lurve cupcakes. Why do I say this? Simple. Cuz cupcakes are yummy! And they’re pretty! I still love them ~ and I’m a representative sample of something or other. I’ll tell you what. This week I’m going to try a new cupcakery and do a couple reviews right here on this blog [self-linkage lulz] in order to do my part to keep cupcakes alive, just in case.

It’s the least I can do. No really.

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8 responses to “Addressing The Crazy

  1. Cupcakes never die, but there are lots of us who just can’t get all that excited about them or their dowdier sisters the muffins. Their main advantage is packaging: delivery of a portion-sized bit of cake that holds its moisture longer than, say, a cut slice of the infinitely superior poppyseed torte and is easier to eat demurely without utensils. And as you said, they top the charts in cuteness, for which some of us have a very limited taste.

    I have an acquaintance who worked at Magnolia, which is a wicked awful employer. Cupcakes need to bring the Mom back to marketing.

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  2. Can’t pies be cute? I’m imagining a little apple pie the size of a silver dollar. An “apple slider,” if you will. Although the use of the term “slider” pretty much cancels out anything cute, and as a marketing tool, I have yet to figure it out.

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  3. Cupcakes just got here in my neck of the woods, so they’ll stick around for a bit. They’re just overshadowed by cannolis up here.

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  4. Overshadowing cannolis?! Say it’s not true. It’s like the replacement here of hard rolls with bagels, an inferior product by far.

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  5. The cupcake trend is bound to end at some point. Thus paving the way for delicious hand pie shops.

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  6. What? Cannolis shells are a delivery systems for some sweet flavors of smooth, luscious ricotta. No way they’re inferior!

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  7. Let’s not forget the demise of Hostess and therefore the Hostess cupcake. Can Crumbs, Sprinkles, etc. be far behind? You know, the mini bundt cake shops are taking over.

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  8. Pingback: Dum Da Dum Dum… CRUMBS! | Light Motifs

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