Sex and Chocolate

I can’t overemphasize the importance of titles. Well, actually I can ~ and I will. Titles have become more important than covers in the digital age. You clicked on this, right? 🙂

Here’s a good example in the current Atlantic Monthly of two articles, one with a dead boring title and another with something that sounds so weird you just have to check it out. I give you…

Court Torpedoes Recess Appointments With the Word “The”

Wtf does that even mean? And who cares? Despite the nice use of an action verb, this title is a huge snorefest. “The word the” ~ my god, let’s sound more awkward next time, OK? Here’s a sample gibberishy sentence from the article:

That’s particularly unfortunate because the theory of judicial originalism centers on an indefensible intellectual claim — that one judge, or a multi-judge panel, can somehow know the “real meaning” of a provision enacted centuries ago, in a world as alien to ours as Narnia or Barsoom.

With a good editor, the whole thing could be much more exciting and also incite fun comments like the next article does.

The Problem of DIY Penis Implants

Normally I wouldn’t care about penis implants, but DIY penis implants? Now that’s just damn intriguing. I mean… what? How? I just have to read that.

Like most exotic sexual practices, penile implants date back to the Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana. According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the first written evidence that stimulating objects were inserted by “perforating” the penis or the glans, was found in the ancient sex manual. In Thailand, a bronze dog statue with a penile bearing could be proof that the procedure existed in the fourth century.

And I’m not disappointed. The article mentions dominoes. Would I lie? Well, OK. But I’m not lying! And don’t forget the comments ~ fun stuff there. I heart commenters. Hint, hint. [Fucking Firefox, stop underlining everything! I spell how I want to!]

I come up with good titles, if I do say so myself. Monday at crit group I said I might not have The Crunchy Snake ready by next meeting and they were all, wow, that’s a great title. Yep. Actually I stole it from a long-ago poast on our Fruitcake froup, but the story itself is my very own.

Names are almost as important as titles, as discussed elsewhere. In a romance novel, I’ll give my female lead a pretty, slightly unusual name, such as Fiona, and my male lead a normal guy’s name like Mike. Those are actually the characters’ names in the novel that’s allegedly being considered for publication ~ I didn’t realize there’s a TV show with protags having those names. My bad. Not that it matters. Minor characters either have dull names to fade into the background, or weird ones, depending on their purpose. If I give a character a stereotyped name, it’ll be either to exploit that stereotype or explode it.


Diane Cupcake

6 responses to “Sex and Chocolate

  1. It’s the “DIY” that really makes the second headline irresistible. 🙂


  2. AD - Considering A DIY Chocolate Dick Upgrade - What Could Go Wrong?

    I was intrigued by the original title which had a DIY tinge to me, as I was hoping for some new way to combine the two (sex and chocolate) that I hadn’t already thought up, which WOULD have been news. I mean, I guess the DIY penile implant could be chocolate, but I’m not quite there yet…


  3. No society where a man is encouraged to alter his penis for the sake of female pleasure can be all bad — or all good.


  4. I thought I already commented on this. What happened to my comment? Comment conspiracy!! But I agree that you come up with really good titles.

    I myself, suck at this. Although the title of the thing I’m working on contains a sorta-pun, so. Maybe I’m improving. Because PUNS ARE ALWAYS FUNNY.


  5. Pingback: Two For Tuesday | Light Motifs

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