Have you noticed that men and women, in general, speak and write differently? I mean, duh, there must be whole blogs/books devoted to this topic, but I’ve just started thinking about it and would rather noodle over it with you peeps (I am allowed to use this expression, no worries) than be directed to some dry essay by J. Whosis, III, Ph.D.
A long time ago I read that businesswomen needed to watch their communications to eliminate weak writing, such as “I think…” and “Maybe we should consider…” because men generally make stronger statements, such as “Let’s go with this, Bob.” In my case, as a secretary, this sort of advice is not aimed at me, and I act deferential at work, though I do find it interesting that during the time I spent trolling Usenet and being “flamey” on blogs, I was perceived as supertough. This had to be due to the way I wrote because what else was there?
But right now I’m not talking business, or trolling, just regular, social interactions. You know, Real Life. (I’ve heard it’s out there. Shh.) I have a theory…
Maybe, sometimes, men and women experience the same feelings but express them differently, so they seem different, but aren’t. Forex, say a man has an emergency at the office and can’t make it to his son’s baseball game. This makes the dad really mad and sad and frustrated, especially if he had promised, right? So, he calls his wife and says, “I can’t make it. This blows.” He sounds angry. Women often recoil from angry men and don’t want to deal with them.
If the same thing happened to a mom, she’ll feel mad and sad and frustrated. And she might call her husband and say, “It looks like I’m stuck here for hours. My boss is being such an ass about it. I don’t know what to do, but I can’t just leave. This is making me so depressed. I know I promised Tyler I’d be there. I’m really upset.” She sounds tearful and … whiny. Men often recoil from whiny women and don’t want to deal with them.
I’m not proposing any solution; it’s more an observation. Men write/speak as if things are facts, even when those things are feelings. Women tend to go on about things “happening” to them and “making” them feel a certain way (i.e., they are powerless over events).
But perhaps I’m overgeneralizing. Please comment whether you agree, disagree, or would rather discuss something else entirely.
*Title purely hypothetical just to get attention. There are no dukes obviously. 🙂