I celebrated today with a taco salad because my TJ’s tortillas (that I bought on Saturday) went moldy already. Wtf? Bring on the preservatives.
But I’m not out drinking like a maniac because I have important OCD biz to attend to. Remember the novel I’ve been working on forever? No, not that one, the otter one. It’s my first full length romance, somewhat inspired by Jennifer Crusie’s Welcome to Temptation, finished at exactly, yes exactly 100,000 words because for sure, absolutely for sure, it was gonna get picked up by Crusie’s publishing house and it needed to be the right length for contemporary romance paperback format.
Hey, you have your fantasies, I have mine. Or had, anyway.
Anyway. I put that book on hold and wrote other things, shorter and flippier, because I’d decided to go the self-publishing ebook only route. I kept trying to get back to the 100K book, but every time I wanted to edit it, I got all bogged down. Or bolloxed up. Something. I thought that I had to cut it basically in half, get rid of all the fun side stories and the prologue and a bunch of the cute but basically fluff parts. Why? Because ebook romances must be 50K words.
Who said that? Idk. But it seems to be a thing. However, I have ebook romances out there to spec and guess fucking what? THEY DON’T SELL. Maybe it’s due to the fact that I’m a nobody with zero connections… or possibly they suck. Either way, it doesn’t seem to make a whiff of diff that the word count is golden.
So! Brill idea here! Why don’t I leave the 100K book alone since I lurve it the way it is?!?!?! Well, wait, that’s a lie. I want to add a couple things. It actually might end up at 120K. Crazy, I know. Like the opposite of what I was doing. I forgot the fundamental rule of everything me: when in doubt, slather on more frosting.
And that’s what I’m gonna do… frost up my 100K book and self-publish it. I also have to do that tediously annoying thing of changing double to single space and using white space paragraph breaks instead of indenting. So, I’ll see y’all again around Christmas.
I’m sure I’ll be done by Halloween.