Sick Day ~ A Study in Cat

I stayed home from work today because of a vicious migraine. Luckily, I had company.

10:47AM ~ he pulls down the blanket to make a cave and disappears

Lazycat1

1:17PM ~ he’s still there, but slightly visible

Lazycat2

4:17PM ~ he’s awake!

Lazycat3

4:18PM ~ nope, false alarm

Lazycat4

6:52PM ~ hard day, time for nap

Lazycat5

THE “A” WORD

Paula Light:

My friend LHD has a few things to say about atheists. :)

Originally posted on left handed dragon:

Everyone knows what an atheist is.

That’s a person who doesn’t believe in their god. If a group of atheists ever get together, then it’s a non-prophet organization.

But where are they hiding?
It’s been often said that there are no atheists in foxholes. But if there atheists in foxholes, they are more likely NOT doing the praying. Most forms of prayer requires both hands to be clasped together.

An alternate form of praying calls for the hands to be raised in the air. But since that gesture is also a sign of surrendering, it is not recommended, unless one would want to be captured and get out of the foxhole.
You probably won’t find an atheist in a church, monastery, synagogue, mosque, or any other place of worship. Unless it is to support a loved one who does go to a place of worship.

Again, they are the ones…

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Opposite of Ode

So, I was going to write a hate pome about kale. I know we’re all supposed to say that kale is just the greatest thing evah, but I fucking detest it. Yesterday I finally had some that tasted OK, because it was accompanied with currants, and doused in nom dressing to hide the taste. However it gave me one of the worst tummy aches of my life. Never eating it again! More for you!

But that’s beside the point now. I tried to find the antonym for ode and no one seems to know what it is, or if there is one. HOW CAN THAT BE? There must be a name for a hate pome. We have so many goddamn words, sometimes way too many for a particular thing. Can’t we make one the name of a hate pome? Alan? David? Halp!

And may I say that when I Google something and end up on a site that’s a weird aggregator pit of all similar questions and words beginning with that letter I get so enraged I could just explode? WTF? Who makes these horrible sites? Can we kill them? Asking for a friend obv.

I would have said a word about Memorial Day, but apparently that makes people mad now because BBQ or something, not that I ever have BBQ, and certainly would not today anyway with this awful tummy ache.

Whatever. It’s good I have the day off to recover from my wild and crazy kaling. (Maybe that should be the name of a hate poem ~ a kaling!)

Kalesux

I Had One Job…

So, my youngest has graduated college (and gave the valedictory speech, which kicked all ass). I’m not going to say I’m done, because even 20somethings need their moms occasionally, but wow. I got two kids through college as a single mom. What a weird thing to say. Who would have thought I could do this? Not me.

This isn’t to take anything away from their accomplishments. Of course they did this themselves via hard work and perseverence, and also, significantly, they worked part-time to help with expenses. Which were huge. But I helped and encouraged and listened and loved and paid and paid.

Anyway. I had the the one job, in two parts, and I did it.

Now what? Idk. It almost doesn’t really matter. I don’t say this in any kind of sad way, but just in kind of a floaty way. Nothing appears to have changed. I wear the same clothes and will go to work every day just as I have been doing all these years. I’ll look forward to the visits with my girls. Play board games and squoosh up the kitteh. Read books. Write pomes. Nom on the occasional cupcake. (New fave: Beach Boy from Casey’s. Sprinkles are tasting too oily for me lately.)

Or whatever else I feel like doing. It’s a nice feeling. I can do what I want! :D

There was a man, a long time ago, who loved his two daughters very much and would have been so extremely proud of them today. He’s gone, and the person who occupies his meatspace is not him. I did this job for him, too ~ that father who has disappeared into the aether.

Beach Boy

RIP Anna Fondant

I’ve had it. Nothing sells. I don’t know how to market ~ and I don’t want to. Marketing is obnoxious. I thought readers would just find Anna by magic. Maybe they have and they don’t like her. Whatever. I don’t care now. I am done.

This weekend I began to edit the 100K novel we discussed in this poast and it was such a pita I gave up. Adding a few improvements required changing rafts of text… just ugh. I stuffed the whole thing plus the rest of my romance writing, finished or not, in one big folder so I don’t haz to look at it anymore.

Epiphany: I don’t actually enjoy writing romance; I started it only to make serious cash. Fail.

In my ideal world, I’d delete Anna’s blog and Twatter and FB page, but since her writing is still up on Amazon, I guess I won’t. This makes my OCD whiskers twitchy however. Must.Haz.Total.Closure!

As far as my stuff and the weird trilogy, idk. I still plan to finish the poetry compilation and that book of interconnected long short stories I used to talk about. The trilogy? Meh. We’ll see.

I’ve also abandoned the plan to watch every IDOJ episode ~ got thru S3 and I can’t take anymore. Except for the eps with Paul Lynde, the show sucks beyond belief. It’s all so mindbogglingly stupid and inconsistent. I used to think that the ep where T&R get captured by hillbillies was funny, but it isn’t. And why is Roger, an army dude, on the flight tests for astronauts? Why is Dr. Bellows in charge of all the things? Jeannie sometimes senses where Tony is and blinks right to him; other times she randomly loses him and needs humans to help her. Omg hate!

What was I talking about again? Oh Anna, right. A moment of silence plz. Kthx.

Side Effect

So, I’ve become vegetarianish, which is a lot like being monogamish. I mostly don’t eat meat, but I occasionally (twice a month?) have fish and I don’t tell myself that I am never ever allowed meat. In February, I nommed both beef and chicken during one week and haven’t had any since. I may not eat any again this year, or I might have a cheeseburger sometime. We shall see. I do better when I don’t forbid myself stuff, because then my inner brat will start craving it.

Reminder: vegetarian is not vegan. I still eat eggs and milk/butter/cheese. But not a whole lot of any of that. I feel better ethically not contributing greatly to the industry. And the less I eat dairy, the less I crave it. The occasional grilled cheese does me fine, while I no longer have the taste for cheese on salads and all the other places it seems to magically appear for no reason other than to add a bunch of calories.

I’m not preaching at anyone; I dgaf what you eat. Pretty much. :)

But here’s an interesting side effect of giving up meat generally and fast food in particular: I never eat fries anymore. I only just realized this and was all like, whoa, what? But yeah. I can’t even remember the last time I had regular fries (as opposed to sweet potato fries, which I sometimes get at Veggie Grill or Native Foods or wherever) or even potato chips. It’s not like I was this huge fry/chip chomper before, but I never decided to give them up either. And yet? I don’t eat them because I don’t eat burgers or roast beef snadwiches or chicken clubs or any of the things that fries/chips usually accompany.

That’s interesting. (As are all my navel glazing moments, yes?) Can I assume or hope that my cholesterol (the bad) will be lower at my next test this summer? Last year it was slightly over 200 for the first time ever and I was disturbed, but the doctor didn’t seem fussed. I don’t see why it’s inevitable the total has to keep creeping up though. Also, I have cut back on desserts (sacrilege!) because, oddly, eating vegetarianish seems to give me more of a taste for avos with salt and/or toast with PB and honey instead of cake. Weirdest thing, but whatever.

And no, I don’t want fries with that!

NoFries

PS: Eating more healthfully has done nothing for my migraines, either way. They’re exactly the same as they’ve always been, whether I eat salad or pie, or whether I drink green tea or red wine. The only thing that helps (slightly) is getting a consistent amount of sleep.

Cinco de Mayo

I celebrated today with a taco salad because my TJ’s tortillas (that I bought on Saturday) went moldy already. Wtf? Bring on the preservatives.

But I’m not out drinking like a maniac because I have important OCD biz to attend to. Remember the novel I’ve been working on forever? No, not that one, the otter one. It’s my first full length romance, somewhat inspired by Jennifer Crusie’s Welcome to Temptation, finished at exactly, yes exactly 100,000 words because for sure, absolutely for sure, it was gonna get picked up by Crusie’s publishing house and it needed to be the right length for contemporary romance paperback format.

Hey, you have your fantasies, I have mine. Or had, anyway.

Anyway. I put that book on hold and wrote other things, shorter and flippier, because I’d decided to go the self-publishing ebook only route. I kept trying to get back to the 100K book, but every time I wanted to edit it, I got all bogged down. Or bolloxed up. Something. I thought that I had to cut it basically in half, get rid of all the fun side stories and the prologue and a bunch of the cute but basically fluff parts. Why? Because ebook romances must be 50K words.

Who said that? Idk. But it seems to be a thing. However, I have ebook romances out there to spec and guess fucking what? THEY DON’T SELL. Maybe it’s due to the fact that I’m a nobody with zero connections… or possibly they suck. Either way, it doesn’t seem to make a whiff of diff that the word count is golden.

So! Brill idea here! Why don’t I leave the 100K book alone since I lurve it the way it is?!?!?! Well, wait, that’s a lie. I want to add a couple things. It actually might end up at 120K. Crazy, I know. Like the opposite of what I was doing. I forgot the fundamental rule of everything me: when in doubt, slather on more frosting.

And that’s what I’m gonna do… frost up my 100K book and self-publish it. I also have to do that tediously annoying thing of changing double to single space and using white space paragraph breaks instead of indenting. So, I’ll see y’all again around Christmas.

J/K!

I’m sure I’ll be done by Halloween.

fairytale book cake by Rosebud Cakes

Happy Promo Day!

In honor of this lucky day (18×3 ~ triple chai!), Happy Birthday, Baby! is available for free from now through the weekend.

Don’t be afraid to leave an awesome review. :D

HBB

IDOJ, Part 2

As mentioned, I bought all the I Dream of Jeannie episodes and have been watching them in order. I had fond misty memories of this show… beautiful, goofy girl falls for handsome, serious astronaut… wacky things happen for years until he falls in love with her too and they get married… more wackiness occurs thereafter.

It is like that. But there’s more. I’m at the end of S2 now, fyi. I can’t go any faster because annoying.

First, there’s Jeannie’s obsession with marrying Tony. I mean, she’s fucking magic ~ she could do anything, be anything, have anything, anytime. But the only thing she cares about is getting that ring on her finger. I realize the show was written in the 1960s, but the obsession is tedious. Why does she need marriage so badly? Ostensibly because she loves Tony, but so what? Maybe she’s just horny 24/7 and they couldn’t write that in the 1960s, so this was the next best thing. Ugh.

Second, it’s now making me uncomfortable to watch Jeannie constantly throwing herself at Tony physically, while he rejects her outright or stands like a statue. I’m starting to wonder about their chemistry after all. He’s so irritating and paranoid. I understand there can’t be any implication that T&J have premarital sex, but Tony’s non-reaction to Jeannie’s affection grates on my nerves. And all the while there’s good old Roger totally wanting her.

Third, (again) the show isn’t that funny. It relies a lot on physical humor ~ Tony falling on his ass when Jeannie does startling blinky thingie, forex ~ and a lot less on wordplay. I’m not sure why I ever thought this show was witty. (The ep with Paul Lynde as an IRS agent is the funniest so far.) :(

Fourth, there are so many bloopers it’s ridiculous. In one ep Jeannie gets hired as General Peterson’s secretary and Tony freaks out because Dr. Bellows has seen Jeannie at his house (and Bellows predictably begins an investigation that blows up in his face), but in later eps Tony doesn’t care at all how many times someone has seen Jeannie previously. Roger is always going on dates and cuddling up with beautiful women, but then outta the blue it’s a thing that he never has anyone. In one ep, Haji tells Jeannie she isn’t allowed to marry Tony unless she reveals that their kids might be genies. This is stupid on two counts: one, only powerful genies can turn people into genies (FACT!); and two, when T&J finally marry in a later ep, this is totally forgotten. There are tons of other inconsistencies…

Onward!

T&J

A Thousand Kisses Deep

You live your life as if it’s real…

Sorry I haven’t been around here much. Hope all my peeps are doing well.