Pie Plus One

It looks gorgeous outdoors and I was going to leave my apartment, but I made the mistake of glancing at the news first. I really don’t get this Black Friday shopping madness. There are continuous deals on crap all year long. Stores are always having huge “blowout” sales. My email box is deluged nonstop with special offers on every kind of material thing you could want to buy and then some. What is the thrill of shopping like a maniac, waiting in line at midnight for a TV, trampling over a little kid for a freaking set of handtowels, etc., immediately after stuffing yourself with turkey and pie? I’ve never understood it.

I had planned to go to a museum in Long Beach, but now I’m a little bit scared. Well, a lot scared. I think I’ll put it off to next week. Of course as everyone knows there’s nothing to be afraid of in California because it’s illegal to wave guns around in public here, but IIRC Long Beach is a sanctuary city for illegal gun-waving, so I’ll go some other time when peeps have calmed down. Maybe there’s something in turkey that makes humans a little bit insane. Idk, because I don’t like turkey ~ I had a vegan feast yesterday to accommodate my daughter (plus regular pumpkin pie afterward). When my mom was around, she’d roast a chicken to accommodate me (it’s a mom thing), and I never trampled anyone on Black Friday, so I think this proves my point. SCIENCE, BITCHES.

I’ve been watching the early 007 flicks on Prime and shall continue with that, save the venturing out until tomorrow when peeps have recovered their sanity somewhat. I totes enjoyed Dr. No and Diamonds Are Forever, but fell asleep during Thunderball. I realize I am watching them out of order, omg. Regardless, today I shall proceed with From Russia with Love, Goldfinger, and You Only Live Twice. I may move onto Moore after that, or just skip him since I’ve seen his so many times and try the Brosnans. I used to sneer at those, but Pierce was so cute and funny in Mamma Mia that really I should give him a shot as Bond, don’t you think? We won’t discuss Dalton. And I’m not ready to repeat the Craigs yet. Too soon!

Since I haven’t blarghed in some time, I feel I owe my faithful fans sumpin. Here ya go!

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Series: Cat in bag.
Via: Daughter’s iPhone.

Suggest This!

Usually when people bitch about something on Facebook that’s driving them nuts I shrug and tell them to hide it, block it, ignore it, whatever. No big deal, eh? Well! I finally found the thing that is driving ME bonkers! No, this has nothing to do with Black Tuesday or how cray cray everyone is acting with their shrieking and unfriending, rending their garments and carrying on. Pffft, as if. I began on the Usenet Beanie Baby groups, if you recall. This is nothing. Nothing.

Few days back one of my peeps complained about “suggested posts.” Those are annoying, true, but I scroll right past, not too fussed. Then yesterday morning I spied with my little eye something new: at the top of my feed was an obnoxious horizontal bar of “suggested products.” I clicked them away. They reappeared lower in the feed. When I opened the app a few hours later, there they were again at the top!

The problem with the products is that there’s a line of them, and they’re so inappropriate to me that I feel compelled to scroll across so that I can mock them, fume, and rage. WHY are they here? I gnash my teeth. I roll my eyes. I despair at the cluelessness of it all. My info is RIGHT UPFRONT for the advertisers to grab ~ I’ve served it to them on a platter. I have not made any secret of the things I like! Give me ads for cat stuffs, for cute boots, for romance novels, for old lady cardigan sweaters, for cake of the month clubs… anything but this stupid pile of crap I would never buy.

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I don’t pay to advertise someone else’s products. That just isn’t how the world works. You want me to be a billboard for your truck, you pay me.

And here’s where they confuse me with a survivalist prepper mountain climber.

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Silly Q mixes up 007’s newsfeed with mine again.

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WTF is a Schipperke? Some kind of dawg, I imagine, with a foofy ‘do and a lil hairbow. Great targeted advert. Did they get a degree in this?

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Blunt point… what use are they? STAB STAB STAB

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Maddening.

Fake news, “suggested” posts and products, ads everywhere, scammers, annoying games and quizzes, links to browser hijacks… why are we so compelled to waste so much time on Facebook every day anyway? Kudos to those who don’t and to one friend who has held out and never made an account. Smartest guy of all! You know who you are.🙂

Plenty of Fish

I’m talking about the Long Beach Aquarium, silly. I impulsively dropped in for a visit the otter week after taking my daughter to the airport, figuring it’d be empty at 10am on a Monday. Wrong! Busloads of little kids poured in about 15 minutes after my arrival. It was still fun wandering around checking out the various exhibits and having a cup of coffee by myself. I stayed a few hours, mostly lost in my own maze of thoughts.

Funny how one week later… everything has changed.

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Via The Daily Prompt: Fish

Walking in L.A.

Fun with my daughters in West Hollywood last Sunday…

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Playing with Blocks

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Ages ago I remember an advice columnist telling us that we were not obligated to answer a ringing phone or a dinging doorbell. Let it go, she urged, if it’s an imposition. You don’t have to run out of the shower to grab the phone. You don’t have to inconvenience yourself to answer the door if someone rings the bell unsolicited. Let them stand there knocking. It’s their problem if they think you’re home because your car is in the driveway. Let them get frustrated. It is not YOUR PROBLEM and you never need to explain later why you didn’t come to the door.

Couple decades later and most of us are glued to our phones 24/7. We ping back every text and missed call. God forbid if we’re out of contact with our peeps for more than a few min at a clip. I’m like this too. One of my daughters lives 50 miles away and the other one 400 miles; I need to make sure we can all reach each otter quickly just in case. I’m usually good at getting back to my friends quickly as well.

During the lead up to Election Day (aka Black Tuesday), I began to get a ton of survey calls. At first, I wanted to be polite and good citizen-like, but I soon realized the questions were tricky and irritating. I started blocking all the numbers. Once I did that I saw I had guys in my phone contact list I never wanted to hear from again, so I blocked them too. Wheeee!

I’ve been… yeech… dating a little bit again and I’ve come to understand that it’s actually a courtesy to block men on the dating site chat for any whimsical reason rather than let them believe I might be interested in talking or maybe I “just forgot” to reply or whatever. Because then they won’t know I don’t like them and they might think they should say hello again. It’s best to block them if I know I have no interest and then we’re done with each otter forever. This is a kindness. Not blocking them is lazy and weak.

On Facebook, I’ve begun blocking friends of friends pretty aggressively lately. Why do I want to read obnoxious comments from these idiots that spoil my experience of reading what my dear friends poast? I understand that sometimes people have to keep on stupid relatives, racist neighbors, shrieky baboon coworkers, et al, and there’s nothing they can do, but I don’t have to deal with these maroons. BLOCK A RAMA!

Here’s my thing especially: if a stranger starts being personally nasty to me or someone I care about for no reason, I block them. I just don’t have to tolerate that crap and I’m not going to. Ultraviolet would have wasted time taking them apart, but I’m too conscious of how precious time is now and I don’t want to waste it on a jerky mcjerkface. Why should I when the block is available to me? It’s the perfect tool for this purpose and does the job instantly and effectively.

I’ve noticed lots of blocks going on since Black Tuesday. I highly recommend this for your peace of mind.

 

Caturdaze aka Plan D

yawn

Apparently I haz a photo “studio” on my phone where I can edit pictures to my heart’s content, adding filters and frames and stickers, and generally do all sorts of coolness, just like on Instagram. How long have I had this studio? Iono. Was it part of some upgrade download tootsie roll sugar mama pajama lama ding dong thinger they randomly do to my Samsung? I DON’T KNOW AND QUIT ASKING ME.

Everything is completely out of my control.  That’s all. I know some of you like to believe you’re in control of your things. OK.

So, I was doing the NaNoWriMo… and the sharp reader will have already noted the past tense there. I can’t get anything past you guys, can I? As I was saying… I was writing for three days, got to 6000 words, which was PDG, if I do say so myself (well, who else will), and then it occurred to me, omg, this sucks.

Now, I’ve been to this rodeo before. Your NaNo is supposed to suck. That’s the idea ~ you write 50K of suckage and then whip it into shape, mostly by deleting stuff, until you have a few thousand words of decent material. Then you go, aha, this works, and finish your novel instead of staring at a blank page for the next million years. I’ve done that yada.

However. This time I was writing the second book of a trilogy because it bothered me that I’d left the first book hanging out there all by its lonesome. And I’d convinced myself that the first book was pretty good ~ especially if I followed up with books two and three as I’d planned at the beginning so the story would ultimately make sense instead of ending all crazy like it did at the end of Book One. But after 6K more words I realized it was hopeless and my idea was bananas.

Instead of indulging my OCD by finishing the trilogy so that poor Book One wasn’t sitting out there all alone, guess what I could do?

Come on, guess!

That’s right.

I COULD DELETE BOOK ONE.

Oh stop. It’s not like anyone ever buys it.

~poof~

All gone.

And since that was so easy, I also deleted some other books I decided I didn’t like having out there, so now I feel much better about life, the universe, and everything.

Deleting is always the answer.

What was the question?

NaNo Day 2: Just Barley

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Day 1 rocked. I woke up at like 3:30am and began writing my ass off. Caffeinated myself like a madwoman all day and knocked the wordcount out of the park after work.

OMG A SPORTS METAPHOR! GO CUBS!

No, I haven’t been hacked. I can get into the spirit of a thing for a minute. Sheesh.

Minute’s over. Now shad dap about that baseball thing already. Back to me me me and my writing. Did I mention that I rocked NaNo Day 1?

Today wasn’t so great, wordcount-wise. I had to scramble to make the daily average, just barley getting there before I decided I’d stop and blarg, go to sleep relatively early, then start again in the wee hours. Part of the problem is that I woke up at 5:30am today like a normal person. Can’t have that. No normalcy during NaNo!

Onward.

One More Day…

I’m so excited about NaNoWriMo now that I’ve impulsively decided to do it. I feel like I’ve been drifting all year, unfocused on anything important, except at work. I became so discouraged with writing and then got sick in August… I just haven’t been doing much of anything really. Then the last couple weeks I had a new stressful stupid thing to clear up with the bank, ughhh! Not to mention the hit and run accident in June bummed me out so much, etc. It’s been a sucky year for a lot of people in many ways, way worse ways than mine, but even so I keep saying, ack, why me, why am I being tortured with a thousand minor idiots and meanies and criminals? I see now that I need a big project to direct my attention during my free time so I can stop obsessing over this crap.

And I was sad because I wasted time and energy doing something I’m horrible at instead of something I’m good at, like writing.

Last week I reread the first book of my trilogy that I wrote during NaNo 2014 and I really like it, yay! I deleted about 5000 words after because they were repetitive, and it’s around 45K now, but that’s OK. I may go back and fill in a few things post-November that occurred to me on the reread. I found some typos too, eek. I hope to have all three books finished by the end of 2017 and mashed together in one biggie book with a fab cover.

It is time to obsess over character names again and all that. I’m already on it, my peeps. Tomorrow after work I’ll go grocery shopping so there will be no excuses on Tuesday ~ I’ll be diving in before and after work to leap ahead on the wordcount. It’s always good to begin with a major sprint, since things always come up in week two/three that you don’t expect. Like, um, the need for sleep. Minor stuff like that.😀

Happy Halloween!

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Possible Mind Change

Whoops, forgot I haz 27 hours in each day.

No srsly. I not only seem to have moar time than otter peeps, but also I don’t really haz a life. In November, forex, I have very few time-intensive events coming up, and not even T-day plans at that. I’ve probably never been freer to jump into NaNoWriMo than I am right meow, so I think I might do the real NaNo and not the fake one I made up where I dribble out a few lines of poetry at you every day all month. I decided I don’t hate you that much after all. You’ve been pretty good to me over the years, all things considered. Well, there was that one time you didn’t… OK, we won’t talk about that. Water under. ‘Nuff said.

Actually I have a few ulterior motives. One, I want to finish my trilogy ~ remember my trilogy? No? Well, neither does anyone else. I wrote only the first book in it (during NaNo 2014), and I want to write the last two so I can mash them all together in one enormous volume that doesn’t sell, instead of just having the first sad third of it out there not selling all alone. No, I can’t link to it right now because it’s via the ‘nym I try to be a little bit more discreet with (just a little).

Two, what’s the point of poasting crappy poetry here every day anyway? Blah. Not that anything has much of a point, but you know. Some things are even more pointless than staring into the abyss of meaninglessness hour after hour. And poasting crappy poetry here is definitely one of those.

Three, I am motivated to get revenge on one or more people, and what better way than to turn them into fictional characters in a fictional story and destroy them? I can’t think of any offhand that won’t land me in a prison cell, so trilogy it is.

Unfortunately, I lost my outline to the second two books in the trilogy… OK OK, I deleted it in a big fit of anger when the first book didn’t sell. It’s probably buried in one of the 8000 zip files on my external backup, which makes it essentially unfindable and useless. No matter, I’ll scribble out a new outline right meow. Something something with goddesses, the Bermuda Triangle, evil government scientists, world domination plans, unlikely hero, escape, return, giant spiders, yada.

Yes, that’s my idea of an outline. Plus a list of character names so I don’t mix them all up.

Don’t be stealing my idea now. I know how you people are.

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NoBloMoPo

November Blog Moar Poetry.

I hear the groans from over the Rockies and indeed from across the pond. SHAD DAP! I am going to poast shitty poetry here during November and you’ll read it. My goal is to poast a pome a day. If I fail then… nothing happens. Not a damn thing. I’ll also poast moar stuffs in general, following the shitty poetry, sorta like eat your broccoli and then you can haz some ice cream kinda thing, since I’m nice like that. I am a nice person! I don’t know why moar people don’t see that, and the beatings will continue until they do. Fucksake.

I may experiment with different types of poetry, cuz I’m kinky like that. My fantasy is to begin slow, with forms we’re all familiar with, and end up at a sestina. I’m not saying it’ll be a good sestina ~ it’ll suck, no doubt ~ but I’ve never actually finished one, and it’s in my bucket list. Har. Yeah, some people have trips to Fiji, climbing Mount Everest, and making lurve in a hot air balloon in their bucket lists. I have writing a sestina in mine. Hey, we’re all different and this is okay.

If you don’t understand what the BFD is about sestinas, I suggest you read this one by Neil Gaiman and learn something.

Go read my updated bio on NaNoWriMo and add me as a buddy if you haven’t already. I don’t care if you’re not doing the thing. You can just blog moar too or cheer me on or what.ever. Poast your own crappy poetry in my comments! (Wait until November, plz.) I see I have an older photo on the site, but who cares? I haven’t changed much. Still bitter and annoyed by All The Things.

But I’m nice. To the nice.