These are from 2014, but I’m only getting to them now cuz I had things to do, yada. Since we are an equal opp readership here I thought we should de-genderfy the list a bit as we discuss the various items. We’ll do the first 25 today and the second 25 when I get a round tuit…don’t pressure me, OK? I still got things to do, mostly the same things I didn’t finish in 2014, if you must know.
1. Swim in the ocean naked and just let your parts float about.
I can imagine this would feel good, but I’d only do it in a super-clean and clear and warm part of the ocean (which is basically the only part I’d be going in fully anyway, suited up or not), where I’d either have total privacy with a partner, or at a beach where it’s an OK thing to do. But yeah, I can see that this would be nice, possibly even blissful.
2. Put a streak in your hair, or dye all of it.
Most women have colored their hair at some point. It’s fun.
3. If you have long hair, cut it short.
I’ve done this in the distant past, prefer it long (just got it cut a bunch, but it’s still long). Change can be interesting, both in how you feel and how you’re perceived.
4. Forgive someone. “Remember, forgiveness isn’t for the other person, it’s for you. So even if they’re a dick to you after you dig deep and forgive them, you know you’re not wasting energy holding a grudge.”
I left all the Cosmo text in because it’s important. To me. I’m not fully there yet, but I try.
5. Travel alone. “Wake up early and see things that will blow your mind. Sleep in late and give zero fucks about wasting the day away.”
Meh. Travel. I can do the second part at home, and do (though sleeping in late will result in a headache and backache, but hey, why not do it just because?). If I had the time and funds, I don’t see why it wouldn’t be more fun to travel with a person whose company I enjoyed. I’m ruminating (moo). I go to a place. I see like the most beautiful thing ever, a meadow, a mountain, a beach, whatever, and I’m alone, I soak in the beauty, and… I wish I could turn to… someone I care about and know that they are enjoying it too. That would make it better. I guess not everyone feels that way. But I can’t see how it would be better alone.
6. Eat dessert for breakfast.
Oh, I got this covered, peeps. Done and dusted!
7. Offer to pay for a date and actually do it. “It’s remarkably empowering.”
I’ve done it. I didn’t feel empowered. But then, I don’t feel I’m at a power disadvantage in the first place because of money (or anything else). The whole money/dating thing is very complicated. Intellectually, I think it should be equal, generally speaking. Emotionally, it feels unromantic if the man doesn’t offer to pay every time.
8. Book a massage after you’ve had a really stressful day.
Massages are too expensive. What would be awesome is if I could find a massage therapist to date. Where is that guy? I would totally pay for his dinner.
9. Eat a huge piece of cake (or candy bar or ice cream cone or whatever your favorite dessert is) and feel wonderful about it. “Not bad. Not fat. Not guilty. Wonderful.”
I’ve done this and not felt guilty. I haven’t felt wonderful either, because usually eating a huge amount of fat will make me feel nauseated. But I get the concept. There’s no point in beating yourself up over something you’ve eaten. If it isn’t optimally nutritious, then eat something that’s super good for you next several meals. Note how much better you feel. Tie that to what you’ve eaten. Soon you’ll find yourself wanting more nutritious foods because they make you feel better.
10. Go out for a meal by yourself. “Order a glass of wine and read a book. Write in that journal you keep meaning to update. Be glad you’re not on an awkward first date like those people sitting next to you.”
First, the miserable looking awkward quiet couple are probably married, not on an early date. Early dates are characterized by a lot of frantic chatter and fake smiling. Second, if I have a glass of wine I’ll get a splitting headache and be unable to drive home, so the wine is a terrible idea. But I’ve gone out to eat alone plenty of times, so I don’t see what the big deal is. Is eating alone in a restaurant some huge barrier most people have to overcome? I just did it again last week.
11. Complete some sort of physical challenge. “Run a marathon or a 5K or enter a triathlon. Or just learn to do a push-up.”
Yeah, this is going to happen. LOL
12. Take a kickboxing class.
13. Quit that job you hate.
Done and dusted. Went back to college and now have a job I enjoy.
14. Live alone. “Be naked in your kitchen for no reason. Make a huge mess. Have your own glorious closet. Come home at 5 a.m. and make a hot pocket in the microwave. Go to bed at 8 on a Tuesday without interruption.”
I do live alone, but I don’t see why I need to be naked in the kitchen, make a mess, or eat hot pockets (gross).
15. Go on one or more spontaneous adventures with your best friends.
I don’t do spontaneity, thx anyway.
16. Don’t work out for a week.
Got that one nailed.
17. Splurge on something you really, really want.
Just bought a car. Is that enough?
18. Make a whole cake for no reason other than to sit there and attack it with forks alone/with your roommate/boyfriend.
Have done this too.
19. Have a pet.
20. Go to a Beyoncé concert. “Bask in her talent and feminist message. Enjoy the hardcore fans closing their eyes and lifting their arms in the air while she sings “Resentment” as though they are having a religious experience.”
21. Run away from something driving you nuts.
22. Buy lunch for someone who is just starting out and needs to save the $10 more than you do. “When they’re wildly successful, they’ll remember how you bought them lunch and bestow the favor on another young upstart.”
Erm, OK. Cute upstart guys, line up to the right. Take off your shirts. WOT?
23. Take the time to get a few special photos or prints professionally framed and matted, even though it’s pricey. “You’ll use them in every apartment you ever live in and you’ll feel happy every time you look at them.”
24. Learn to like some stuff you’re pretty sure you didn’t.
K. Give me the deed to an obnoxious house in Newport Coast.
25. Find a phrase or quote that will be your personal mantra and live by it.
Perfection is the enemy of the good.
See ya next round!