No, this isn’t a meme. I simply forgot my phone this morning. I showered, dressed, made lunch for two days (mac&cheese with green beans, nom!), cleaned up cat barf, bought movie tix from Costco online, checked POF for new weirdos soul mates, etc. You know, a normal morning routine… and then I realized I was 5 minutes late, OMGAWD, and ran out the door.
My poor phone was still charging in the kitchen.
I discover this in the car when I glance at my display and see a red line through the phone icon. Crap! Should I go back? But I’m already a teensy bit late and several blocks away. No. Just tough it out, UV. You’ve been through the jungles of Usenet; you can do this. Hmph. Fine. I decide to at least call my eldest daughter and warn her of the situation, so I hit the button thingie and it says “phone not connected.” Well, fuck. Apparently you need to have the damn phone in the car to make the call. Right. I know that.
I get to the office and turn on my ‘puter. Reach in my purse for my phone so I can read the news for a couple minutes before starting work and… oops, no phone. Right. I email my kids to tell them I don’t have my phone. D2 emails back suggesting I meditate. I email a friend to give him the scoop and ask him to please let me know of any important news. He replies right away to tell me that Greg Lake of Emerson, Lake & Palmer has died. What a terrible year this is.
I do some work. D1 emails and concurs with the meditation. Time for a tea break. Usually I check Facebook while having tea, if I’m not super busy. But I can’t do that if I don’t have a phone, now can I? Nope. I’m now out of the loop of what my friends might be jabbering about. The political outrage, the cute kitties, the lush cakes, the hilarious cartoons, the snarky gossipfests, the adorable otters, the links to quizzes to find out what Christmas ornaments reflect our hidden personalities… that all exists in an alternate reality today, inaccessible, remote as Mars.
Sigh. And what if people are texting or calling me? I’ve emailed my kids, but what about other people? There could be something important and I’m not responding. What if my landlord needs to talk to me about something urgent? I can’t remember if he has my work number. He must have it. What if… what if… an attorney is calling me to tell me that some obscure relative died and I’ve inherited an enormous estate?! I need to start planning right away how to deal with that. OK, back to work.
~*~ Lunchtime ~*~
I’m almost done with Bazaar of Bad Dreams. Every story is a gem, except for this horribly boring baseball one that put me to sleep last night. I don’t even bother going back to pick up what I’d missed, moving right along to “Mister Yummy,” which is great. Normally I’d eat and read, and then check my phone for things. Besides the news and FB, I am also pining for Instagram. Pics of beaches in Turkey, giraffes in Africa, kittens and cupcakes and flowers everywhere… all are out of reach right now. I’m not getting my local weather and traffic reports either, not that I need them, being inside all day, but it’s nice to know what’s going on, just in case.
Also, what if some man is trying to reach me? Like a long ago guy… someone I ended things badly with, or ghosted… or vice versa… maybe it was all a misunderstanding… perhaps he’s trying to reach me today of all days, who even knows why. But I’m not answering! This could be my one last chance at true love, but it’s slipping away into the mists forever. Bye dream guy… sorry… it’s the cat’s fault… I had to spray the barfy carpet, which goofed up my routine…
You know the best part of my day? Early morning snuggling with Gatsby. It’s so hard to get up because he is so warm and furrypurry, squished right up next to me. Sometimes he licks my nose. Dawww. Second best is getting home from work and playing with him on the floor for a few minutes before giving him his evening meal. He’s such a good kitty! He’s my little soul dude. ❤
Back to work.
~*~ Home ~*~
Quick hi to kitty. Feed him. Then… phone! OK, soooo… no one called. I have a couple texts from my closest friends, one of whom is worried I hadn’t responded all day. ONE. No one else mentions how weird it is that I’m missing from the e-verse. I hop onto FB… there are 30 notifications, which isn’t really a lot considering I’ve haven’t touched it in over 10 hours. None of them are people tagging me in concern for my whereabouts either. OK, then. I see how it is. If I disappeared, 99% of you would not GAF!
Except my kitty. Because he loves me. Yes, he does.