We don’t have to be consistent!
This is important. Granted, I’ve had some wine, but wait. Just listen.
We don’t have to be consistent. It took me a looooong time to really grok this, but it is very much OK to use arbitrary standards and feelings to choose friends and dates/lovers, and even more so to change your mind after doing something once. Saying OK to a thing, because you think it might be fun, but then it’s not, doesn’t obligate you to keep on doing it forever.
I know, right?
Remember Baggage Reclaim? Natalie sez…
Does the fact that somebody has been able to cross our boundaries give them the right to continue doing so? No one is entitled to disrespect us just because they have previously benefited from what may be our lack of self-esteem or our lack of awareness or even foresight about what certain behaviours or decisions mean. That entitlement does not exist regardless of how we personally manage our boundaries. — Baggage Reclaim
I love this so much.