No, this isn’t going to be a thing.
I doubt anyone will agree with my opine, but when does that stop me? It’s been a while since I ranted, and we’re due for one here, so you’ll just have to sit back and take it. I’m not linking to what provoked this because I find it infuriating, though not in the way you might expect.
We’ve all seen that video now, right? The one where the woman is walking down the streets of NYC and a bunch of dudes go “hey baby.”
This is supposed to be The Worst Thing Evah. This is “harassment” and what should we do about it? Oh, we are told at the end of the video: SEND MONEY. Right. Of course. Sending money to a bunch of nannies is going to stop real harassment (not that the video depicts any).
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not defending annoying men. Annoying men are annoying and you should know how I feel about that. That isn’t the point here. The point is that when you go out and about into the world you do not have the right to demand that no one interact with you. People are allowed to look. People are allowed to say hello, in whatever form. THIS IS NOT HARASSMENT. If you are such a delicate flower that you can’t bear anyone to notice you or try to talk to you, then stay home.
Hey, I wish we could demand a silent world. I fucking hate noise. I also hate any form of smoke. I hate perfume. I hate stinky dogs. And zomg I absolutely despise squeaky sneakers. I want to strangle anyone who squeaks their sneakers across the floor. Oh, if only I could make everyone conform to my ideals!
But I can’t. When I was a 20-something in Chicago, men “said things” to me all the time. I never thought anythng of it. Because I’m not a big whiny baby! It’s mind-boggling to me that anyone would consider “how ya doin'” to be sexual harassment. That’s insane. Some of those men only said “good morning.” The only thing that even came close to being disturbing was when a man walked next to her for a while.
Let me relate a Chicago story. A Sunday afternoon, on the bus. A young guy got on and sat next in front of me, and then turned around and started talking. He was clearly drunk. He smelled of booze. He said random weird things and I just ignored him. Finally I responded by saying not interested or whatever. He kept bugging me. I thought about getting off the bus before my stop, but I didn’t feel like it. Finally he asked if he could touch my hair. I said no. He didn’t. Then he yelled at me for being judgmental because he’d gone to his mom’s house for lunch like “a good Catholic boy” and had a few beers. I just rolled my eyes and did not respond. End of story.
The people who made that video would consider this harassment, I assume. I just consider it another typical episode in Men Are Annoying. But by sending money to some rando organization we can stop men from being annoying, right?
That’s what offends me the most. Not that people want to nanny others’ behavior to death (we’ve seen that so many times now), but the money demand. If I were a different sort, I might call THAT harassment. The implied: “If you don’t send money to us, you’re perpetuating X.” Whatever X may be. Gah.