I made an OKCupid profile several weeks ago on a whim because I had taken a pretty selfie. I don’t expect to meet Mr. Right or even Mr. Close Enough, but when I don’t try a little bit I feel like I’ve given up, and that’s not good.
Here’s a funny tidbit ~ my initial profile was light, breezy, open, and fun. You know, the kind of profile “they” say women should have. I received very few messages. I began to edit and add, as I do, and the more I write, the bitchier I sound, and now I’m getting a stream of messages.
At first, I answered 2500 questions, but then I realized that many were irrelevant to a possible new relationship and others had to be explained. I wiped my questions and started over, making sure I care about a question/reply before I mark it. I avoid ridiculous hypotheticals and anything where I feel trapped into marking a reply I don’t 100% agree with. None of my current answers require mitigating blabbery in the textbox. I match very high with a lot of men now, mostly non-locals, and many have contacted me.
Don’t get excited ~ these types comprise the majority of my emails:
1. The obvious spammer/con artist. He has one generic photo and hardly any questions marked. He’s usually from a place like Dumbfuck, Montana, has iffy English, and his message is a form letter. “Good morning beautifull angel. How are you? I’m new here and saw your profile. Immediately I want to get to know you so we can have a stimulating life together. Please text me right away at bla bla blah.”
2. The hi guy. He has a real profile, though with many misspellings and grammatical errors. His message? “Hey” or “hi there” or “cute photo.” Blargh.
3. The illiterate. He must be because he is clearly falls into one of my deal-killer categories, such as being allergic to cats. Why does he bother writing? You got me.
4. The pigtail-puller. His first message is a complaint or criticism. Yeah, that’s attractive. I realize that he wrote because there are things about me he likes, and the trolling is simply a way of getting my attention. But it pisses me off, so I either shitcan him on the spot or, if I’m bored enough, reply snippily. Even if we end up communicating a bit, there’s no way anything good is going to come of this. I want a romance, not a Usenet snipefest!
5. More boring than a boring boring thing. “Hi. I see you’re a writer. That’s really cool. I also like movies and sushi. Would you like to chat?” Sometimes I’ll reply to boringman, if he has a good profile and photo. I think, well, we do have a high match score, and he’s sorta cute… maybe he’s holding back on the charm and wit until the second message. Snort. Smart, funny men are compelling in their first email. [REMEMBER THIS ~ note to self.]
Aaaaanyway. If anything happens in the lurve department, trust me, my blogpeeps will be the first to know. Loyalty like yours does not go unrewarded.