…have been greatly exaggerated.
So, let’s get right down to it. Issues of the day, wot.
1. Zoe Saldana’s weight on the cover of Allure. First, it simply isn’t true that female celebs never ever ever tell their weight. In Playboy, forex, the centerfold always has stats, including weight. Granted, the POTM is not a star on the level of Zoe, but even so ~ she might be, one day, and the point is that weight is not some verboten topic as has been suggested by these nattering nannies. Oh the horror! Publishing Zoe’s number is going to send throngs of young chubettes into fits of anorexia. (One can only hope. KIDDING.)
Second, this is actually something to get worked up over? Women really are nuts.
2. Pat Robertson. Some distressed married chick asked him how she can get past her hubby’s cheating and he says hey try not to dwell on it, make a happy home, remember why you fell in love with the dude and all the good things about him, yada. Everyone has a collective stroke over this. Why is it so bad? Remember, she didn’t ask if she should stay or go ~ she wants to stay. Oh, and Pat notes that men are prone to wander, like this is news. (Some women are too, newsflash.) No no, we must pretend pesky facts do not exist. GO AWAY FACTS, WE HATE YOU.
Maybe he’d give the same advice to a married guy whose wife has strayed and who wants to try to save the relationship. Don’t dwell, try to focus on the good. What’s so bad about this? And this doesn’t mean I have to agree with any other awful thing Pat has said. Sheesh.
3. Speaking of matches made in heaven ~ Jodi Arias + Scott Peterson. One cell, one knife. Death match! Wouldn’t this make a great TV show? The survivor gets the next whack-job convict. I think I’m onto something here…
4. Obama’s umbrella fiasco. Impeach him!
5. The DSM-5. This is the new shrink bible, coming out soon and coincidentally written by shrinks. It is apparently totally upfucked, which is shocking. I am shocked anyway, which is a symptom of something that can now be treated with a drug covered by my insurance. WHAT A SURPRISE.
6. The people who told us that salt was going to kill us were all wrong, same as they were all wrong about eggs and carbs. Just stop listening to these assholes, k? Do what I tell you, which is EAT A LOT LESS EVERY DAY. That’s all. Do that all the time, no exceptions. It doesn’t really matter what you eat ~ apples, macaroni, bacon, cupcakes, salad, whatever ~ just quit eating so much of it.
7. My Kindle Fire. It is awesome, especially the HOT PINK case.
8. STAR TREK.